Premium Rush

[last lines]

Wilee:
I like to ride. Fixed gear. No brakes. Can't stop. Don't want to, either.

Vanessa:
[yelling at a cab driver] Hey Jersey, you wanna move your fat ass?

Wilee:
You know how sexy you are when you talk like that?

Wilee:
[signing a document for pickup] The time is now 5:33.

Nima:
It must be there by 7:00. It's extremely important.

Wilee:
Always is. [hands her slip of paper, takes the envelope] Thanks, have a nice day!

Bobby:
Hey! That envelope you picked up, I gotta ask for it back.

Wilee:
Yeah, the thing is, once it goes in the bag, it's gotta stay in the bag.

Bobby:
[threateningly] It's in your best interest to give me the envelope.

Wilee:
Just who are you?

Bobby:
Forrest J Ackerman, campus security.

Bobby:
If you don't give over that envelope, you have no idea what's coming for you.

Bobby:
Are you negotiating?

Wilee:
Count on it!

Wilee:
Brakes are death.

Wilee:
Just runnin' reds and killin' peds.

Vanessa:
I need a flashmob like two minutes ago!

Raj:
[picks up the phone] Time to call in the cavalry.

Manny:
Have you seen my thighs?

Wilee:
Suck it, douchebag!

Wilee:
Douchebag! Have a nice day!

Wilee:
[after almost being run over by Bobby] Hey douchebag! What's the matter with you?

Wilee:
Who are you, man?

Bobby:
I'm the guy you don't f*** with.

Bobby:
[to Wilee] This whole city hates you.

Mr. Leung:
A lot of money for a young lady.

Nima:
Took me two years. I work three jobs.

Mr. Leung:
American dream, huh?

Nima:
Is to work three jobs?

Mr. Leung:
These days, yes.

Raj:
What is it with this envelope? People love it, they hate it, they gotta have it, they gotta get rid of it. It's like cigarettes or Democrats.

Vanessa:
What kind of bike messenger are you?

Wilee:
The kind with a Masters in Bullshit and Obfuscation.

[after escaping from the impound]

Vanessa:
That's the most fun I've had with my clothes on!

Wilee:
I do not carry drug sh*t, or whatever the hell this is!

Raj:
It's not drugs, it can't be drugs. It's from a highly respected East Coast college. [covers phone, turns to Tito] It's probably drugs.

Tito:
Yep.

Wilee:
This douchebag tried to...

Desk Officer:
I can hear you.

Wilee:
Sorry, uh, a guy tried to rob me and run me over with his car.

Desk Officer:
Are you injured?

Wilee:
No.

Desk Officer:
Do you want to file a complaint?

Wilee:
No, I want him arrested, it's like attempted vehicular manslaughter, or whatever.

Desk Officer:
Is it, your honor? Have a seat, someone will be right out to take your statement.

Wilee:
I also have a picture of his license plate number.

Desk Officer:
That's fantastic. Have a seat, someone will be right with you.

Wilee:
[sarcastically] Thank you, for your concern.

[first lines]

Wilee:
I can't work in an office. I don't like wearing suits. I like to ride. Fixed gear, steel frame, no brakes. The bike cannot coast. The pedals never stop turning. Can't stop. Don't want to either. There are 1,500 bike messengers on the streets of New York City. You can e-mail it, FedEx it, fax it, scan it, but when none of that sh*t works and this thing has to be at that place by this time, you need us.

Wilee:
You got a pickup for me?

Receptionist:
You already got it.

Wilee:
Positive I did not.

Receptionist:
No, someone from your company.

Wilee:
What did he look like?

Receptionist:
He was prettier than me.

Bobby:
[grabs Wilee's hurt ribs] Oh, I'm sorry. Is that uncomfortable?

Wilee:
Douche bag.

Bobby:
I don't really care for that term "douche bag." People throw it around like crazy these days, like it's suddenly okay. You know what else people say now? "Suck it." I was watching TV the other night, 8:30, the middle of prime time. Kids could be watching. Guy says, "Suck it." Everybody's laughing. Ha, ha, ha! How is that appropriate?