Ratchet: Deadlocked

Dr. Nefarious:
Lawrence, what is going on, you said we were in range of a space station!

Lawrence:
Well, how was I supposed to know it would blow up all of a sudden?

Dr. Nefarious:
Lawrence!

[Nefarious' brain transmits a soap station]

Lance:
[On radio station]

[Kissing]

Lance:
Oh Janice, promise me you'll never leave me again for that Englebert.

Janice:
Oh Lance!

[kissing]

Janice:
you make me feel like a young boy again!

Lance:
[pause] Say what?

ShellShock:
Those Omega Twins went out like wee little girly men!

Dallas:
Yes, quite ironic, seeing as they were actually teenage girls.

ShellShock:
Yah... ironic.

Juanita:
I am breathless with anticipation.

Dallas:
Are you sure you're not just breathless 'cause you get to sit up here next to me?

Juanita:
No, but that does explain why I'm feeling nauseous.

Dallas:
Since I don't have much time left, I'd just like to apologize to a few people. Timmy Aberdeen, I was the one who lit your backpack on fire, and I'm sorry that you couldn't get it off in time. Susie Binkleton, I was the one who put the Tyhranoid in your locker. Hey but I hear the therapy is going good. And finally to you Juanita, my dear, sweet Juanita. I'm sorry for six years of rude jokes, harassing innuendo, and those friendly little pinches in the elevator. But who am I kidding you you love it!

Female Computer Voice:
Attention: Something small and furry has walked into the ranking station. Oh, it's you Ratchet.

Gleeman Vox:
You are now far out of the reach of hope. There will be no rescues, no pardons, and no possibility of escape.

Ratchet:
Get me out of this thing you blag headed frumph monkey! I can barely breath and my tail feels like its shoved right up my...

Green:
Thank you sir, I'd kiss you but I don't have lips!

Thyrranoid Groom:
[on tv] There's something you should know... I'm not a real Thyrannoid. [he turns into a sea serpent]

Thyrranoid Bride:
Aaaaah!

Gleeman Vox:
Will you lose your lunch if you have to watch one more reality dating show? Is your Blargs gone wild DVD scratched from overuse? Then it's time to turn to something a little more... dangerous. [he jumps towards the screen] It's time to blow [bleep] up!

Merc:
Hey, What did you do to that VG9000 I was playing?

Big Al:
I figured we needed space for more useful things. Plus, you were getting too near my high score in Ozaark's Revenge.

Gleeman Vox:
For everyone to enjoy it, please keep the interplanetary transport as clean as possible. After all, your mother does not work here... oh, except for you, Captain Nightingale.

Captain Qwark:
Ratchet, Clank, it's Captain Qwark. There's a nasty rumour going on about heroes being abducted. But don't worry, it's baloney! No one came to capture me right! I mean, who makes a show about galactic superheroes without Captain Qwark?

Eugene:
Whoah! Check out that explosion!

Lucy:
Let's do it again!

Vernon:
It's my turn to look!

Dallas:
No it's my turn to look you little... didn't anyone teach you to respect your elders?

[the kids attack him]

Dallas:
Ow! Did you see what she just... aaah!

Clank:
[to Ratchet] Well this was the last shuttle, what else could I do?

Green:
Zombies, dead ahead! Er, no pun intended sir.

Gleeman Vox:
[about Ace's merchandise] So why is it that I can't give this stuff away?

Ace Hardlight:
Uh...

Gleeman Vox:
It's because my fans can't stand Ace Hardlight! He's a pompus [bleep] with the charisma of Blargian nap cheese!

Ace Hardlight:
So what are you saying exactly?

Ace Hardlight:
This is it rodent. I just wish it wasn't over so fast. Well, just try and make it interesting while it lasts will you.

Ace Hardlight:
Ratchet, you haven't beat me. You're just a half sized rodent that got lucky.

Ratchet:
Slow down Ace. Don't embarass yourself.

Ace Hardlight:
Embarass? Embarass? I'm Ace Hardlight!

Ratchet:
You were a hero once Ace.

Ace Hardlight:
Ratchet... don't let Vox do to you what he did to me... you're the hero now.

Clank:
Well done Ratchet. The power relays have been destroyed. The station is no longer on lockdown.

Ratchet:
Good. Now get on a shuttle and get out of here.

Clank:
Sorry Ratchet, but I'm not leaving wothout you. [Vox knocks Clank aside]

Gleeman Vox:
Will cut out the soppy melodrama before you lose my entire audience. Now I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago... I'm going to give DreadZone fans the finale they always wanted... It's a little one act play I like to call... Death... of A Lombax.

Juanita:
That's right. Take him out, Team Darkstar! Destroy him, destroy his family, make him cry into his next life! Draaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

Dallas:
I've never seen that before! Ladies and gentlemen, Juanita has eaten the cameraman!

Dallas:
Greetings, DreadZone fans, and welcome to the final episode of DreadZone... Oh God... we're all gonna die! [hides beneath desk]

Juanita:
The mood is... positively... uh, electric, as the audience braces to find out whether they will survive... the next ten minutes. I can't believe I'm reading this.

Dallas:
I had my whole life ahead of me... I was gonna be a... ballet dancer!

Reactor:
Ratchet eh? You look like a squirrel wrapped in tinfoil!

Dallas:
After making his fortune selling cigarettes to children, Ratchet went on to pilot a tanker to Planet Zexxon.

Janice:
Only a week later he got drunk and crashed his tanker on the ocean world of Aquatos. Who can forget the graphic images of baby seals smothered in radioactive waste?

Coco the Baby Seal:
Aaah!

Janice:
Little Coco, never had a chance.

Big Al:
[to Ratchet] How could you? What did Little Coco ever do to you?

Ratchet:
What... what?

Clank:
Al, how can you believe these ridiculous lies?

Juanita:
Mmm my mother used to make Lombax brainss for breakfast served with eggs and salsa... Mmm moi bueno!

Dallas:
Wow, remind me never to eat at your house.

Merc:
Hey Boss, do you read Chaucer?

Juanita:
That's right Team Darkstar, take him out! Destroy him, destroy his family, make him cry into his next life! Aaaargh!

Dallas:
I've never seen that before! Ladies and gentlemen, Juanita has just eaten the cameraman!