Revenge of the Bridesmaids

Abigail Scanlon:
I don't know why you think this acting thing is so hard.

Parker Wald:
Try getting paid for it!

Lt. Henry Kent:
[having slowly come up behind Abigail and Parker] Close your mouths. Rachel an old friend of yours? So I take it you haven't seen her for a while? So yeah, that's the Tony that Rachel used to go out with... although we can't officially acknowledge that ever happened... so this is me, not acknowledging...

Abigail Scanlon:
[turning to look at him] You're Henry Kent... you had big ears and a slutty sister.

Lt. Henry Kent:
I... grew into my ears, and I'll tell Carole you said "hi".

Parker Wald:
I don't remember you.

Lt. Henry Kent:
Really? We had Biology together, and I asked you to prom, twice.

Parker Wald:
[gasps] Really?

Lt. Henry Kent:
I'm kidding. I was two years older and spent most of high school tripping over my ears.

Lt. Henry Kent:
[looks at Abigail, who nods]

Parker Wald:
And you still live in Lambert?

Lt. Henry Kent:
...I still live in Lambert...

Parker Wald:
I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that...

Lt. Henry Kent:
Yes you did.

Abigail Scanlon:
Yes you did. Let's go find Rachel.

Abigail Scanlon:
[sweetly] Oh Miss Olivia, if you had wings you should be an angel...

Abigail Scanlon:
[losing the pretense] or nasty-ass dragon...

Parker Wald:
Why do all of your plans have me sleeping with someone? Is this how you see me?

Abigail Scanlon:
A little bit.

Parker Wald:
Now, what are we gonna do about Rachel?

Abigail Scanlon:
I say we go 'full-force swat team' and break up Caitlyn and Tony.

Parker Wald:
Ok, no more wine for you.

Bitsy:
Are we killing her?

Rachel Phipps:
[innocently confused] They said 'no'.

Abigail Scanlon:
Olivia has me so carb-starved, if you put your hand on a kaiser roll I'd eat it in three bites...

Abigail Scanlon:
[imitates biting]