Remember Me

Tyler's Voiceovers:
(voiceover) Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it, 'cause nobody else will. I tend to agree with the first part.

Tyler's Voiceovers:
(voiceover) If I knew you could hear me I would say, 'Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch.'

Tyler's Voiceovers:
(voiceover) Someone comes into your life and half of you says, 'You're nowhere near ready.' And the other half says, 'Make her yours forever'

Tyler's Voiceovers:
(voiceover) This girl, her life slipped into me.

Tyler's Voiceovers:
(voiceover) Someone is been trying to tell me something, 'Make her yours forever.' And I'm working on the forever part.

Tyler's Voiceovers:
(voiceover) Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it. I tend to agree with the first part. Michael, you know what I'm starring at. By 22 Gandhi had three kids, Mozart 30 symphonies and Buddy Holly was dead. You once told me our fingerprints don't fade from the lives that we touch. Is that true for everybody? Or was it just poetic bullshit?

Tyler's Voiceovers:
(voiceover) Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it 'cause nobody else will. Like when someone comes into your life and half of you says: "You're nowhere near ready". And the other half says: "Make her yours forever". Michael, Caroline asked me what would I say if I knew you could hear me. I said: "I do know. I love you. God, I miss you, and I forgive you".

Aidan:
You've been a ghost past couple weeks, alright? You don't want to go out anymore. I've had enough of this introvert sh*t, ok? I'm ready to set up an intervention here!

Aidan:
That's why chicks dig you out, man. They love this freaky poetic crap.

Aidan:
[In jail] It must be nice living at the bookstore, by yourself, with all your stacks of books. But, you see, I actually plan on having a career, and a wife, and a girlfriend, and a... and a divorce, and a mid-life stalking episode, and an erectile dysfunction.

Aidan:
You give me the word and I will steal their bikes.

Aidan:
[to Ally] He's in love with you. I've only ever seen him look at one other girl the way he looks at you, and she's a lot shorter and shares his DNA.

Neil Craig:
She's supposed to be back. She is not back.

Tyler:
He can stand me up, but he can't stand you up. And he can't stand my little sister up.

Tyler:
You do know that interventions typically don't involve binge drinking?

Tyler:
When was the last time you had one drink?

Ally:
It's ok, It's ok, It's ok.

Receptionist:
You know you can't smoke in here.

Tyler:
Why - Why do you have an ashtray?

Receptionist:
It's a bowl, it completes the room.

Tyler:
This is a bowl? Hum I'm sorry.

Janine:
Tyler!

Tyler:
Guess it was just here to tease me.

Charles Hawkins:
You could do worse than have a father who bails you out of jail.

Tyler:
I don't want to be bailed out of anything. I just wanted you to know that I didn't call you.

Caroline:
Why do you think dad doesn't want to, like listen to me?

Tyler:
Dad loves you.

Caroline:
So, you can love someone and not want to spend time with them.

Tyler:
Yeah, you got that right.

Caroline:
Mom loves aunt Sara, but at christmas last year she wouldn't let Les leave them in a room together. She said that there'll be a "Yuletide homicide".

Tyler:
That's 'cause aunt Sara drinks. You don't drink, do you?

Caroline:
I'm eleven.

Tyler:
So why would anyone ever wanna avoid you?

Aidan:
He has got a daughter!

Tyler:
Who's got a daughter?

Aidan:
The cop that busted your face all up! He's got a daughter!

Tyler:
What do you want me to do? Kidnap her?

Aidan:
We don't have the closet space for that! Just introduce yourself, go on a few dates. Be you charming gentlemanly self, and then flip the script on her.

Tyler:
What's flip the script?

Aidan:
Screw her brains out. Make her call you daddy! I don't know. Steal her panties and sell them on ebay or put them up on her high school's website. I don't know, just be creative.

Tyler:
This one of those things that I'm already regretting.

Aidan:
All right, she was here the other day.

Tyler:
I don't care. What do you want me to say? "Hey Doll Face your dad trampled all over my civil liberties, you wanna make out with me?

Aidan:
Don't call her "Doll face". Moron.

Tyler:
Look I'm leaving.

Aidan:
Would you..Look, alright, there she is.

Tyler:
Who?

Aidan:
The Blonde.

Tyler:
I know her...I don't know her, but she's in my Global Politics class.

Aidan:
There you go! Something to open up with. All right? Go get her.

Tyler:
Excuse me. Can I bother you for a second?

Ally:
You're already bothering me.

Tyler:
Listen, I'm doing this sociological experiment, and I was just wondering if you could help me out for a second.

Ally:
You're kidding right?

Tyler:
Can I ask your name?

Ally:
Anonymous..

Tyler:
Anonymous? Is that Greek? Ok, anonymous, do you see that guy sitting over there pretending to read a textbook looking in this general direction?

Ally:
Yeah, staring at us? Subtle.

Tyler:
See I have this theory that an objective third party such as yourself can determine how much of an a**hole he is by just looking at him. See, I'm his roommate and I think that I have witnessed too many glaring examples of assoholic behaviour that I'm biased as a subject. But I'm convinced that he has an aura that you can actually perceive.

Ally:
Who else do you plan on asking?

Tyler:
I don't know. I don't think anybody else here fits the criteria. Attractive blonde, early twenties, female.

Ally:
Ah! Nineteen, so..

Tyler:
Nineteen...That's fine. Teens. I can do teens. Well, typically you get something for being involved in one of these surveys, I - I ran out of my foam fingers a while back so, I don't know, can I take you out to dinner or something? Maybe just a conversation on the off chance that one of us says something interesting?

Ally:
Yeah, there is a problem there, 'cause I don't date sociology majors.

Tyler:
Lucky for you I'm undecided

Ally:
About what?

Tyler:
Everything.

Ally:
I'm Ally.

Ally:
I'm going out.

Neil Craig:
Who're you going with?

Ally:
A boy from school.

Neil Craig:
Okay.

Ally:
I wasn't asking for permission.

Neil Craig:
I know that, just be careful.

Ally:
What deserts do you have?

Restaurant Waiter:
Mango ice cream with nuts and raisins.

Ally:
Great. Hum, I'll have that and a glass of skim milk and then the lamb vindaloo. Thanks.

Tyler:
Oh can I have a chicken tikka masala and a kingfisher please?

Ally:
I have my dessert first.

Tyler:
Is that a political statement or a medical condition, perhaps?

Ally:
I just don't see the point of waiting. What if I die eating my vindaloo?

Tyler:
Is that probable?

Ally:
It's possible. Embolism bursts, astroid hits the restaurant. I'd die without having eaten the one thing I wanted most.

Tyler:
I mean, the odds.. The odds are…

Ally:
Tell you what. Guarantee me, swear to me on your eternal soul that I make it through my entrée, and I'll wait. Before you answer, If I die, you'll have to live the rest of your life knowing that not only did you lie to me but you denied me my one last indulgence. My last wish. Are you prepared to shoulder that kind of responsibility to prove a point? Don't worry, I'll share.

Game Attendant:
Take a shot. Three for one. One dollar. Oh! Ok! Come on, win a prize. Win a prize for the pretty lady.

Ally:
Ya, I want.. I - I want the panda.

Tyler:
How much do you give the panda?

Game Attendant:
Three for three. Go! Oh!

Ally:
Oh!

Tyler:
Yeah, give me three more. If I give up, he wins.

Ally:
Who? The attendant?

Tyler:
The giant freaking panda!

Game Attendant:
Take it easy tough guy!

Tyler:
I'm sorry. Three more. Three more.

Ally:
I don't know what are you smiling about.

Tyler:
I won!

Ally:
Paying off the attendant it's not winning, it's cheating. By the way, when the hell were you gonna tell me what happened to your face?

Tyler:
I got into a bar fight.

Tyler:
Do you want to go out for a beer or something? Oh wait you're not old enough..

Ally:
I'm 21..

Tyler:
No you're not.. Did you lie?

Ally:
I was trying to get rid of you.

Tyler:
That hurts, I'm wounded.

Ally:
Well, it's getting pretty late so...

Tyler:
I'll walk you to the subway.

Ally:
I'll take a cab. I never take the subway anymore.

Ally:
Thanks.

Tyler:
Yeah. So.. Um.. (he tries to kiss her, she refuses).

Ally:
Not tonight.

Tyler:
Okay.

Ally:
Not - not never, just, not tonight

Cab driver:
Are we going or what?

Ally:
Turn on the meter.

Tyler:
Not never? So, dessert first for fear of asteroid: yes but, kissing a guy you're seem to be attracted to, at least,before driving off into the unknown New York City night alongside a panda you only just met: no. Great. (she kisses him). Good.

Ally:
You're really weird.

Tyler:
Yeah, I know..

Ally:
(To taxi driver) Going to queens, don't wanna hear about it!

Tyler:
I know. We live like pigs. But, I do have a coaster, if you want a coaster.

Ally:
Ah, don't do coasters 'til the third date. Hey who's that?

Tyler:
That's Michael. That's my brother.

Ally:
He Kinda looks like you. Does he play around here?

Tyler:
Not anymore.

Ally:
Do you play?

Tyler:
Well it depends who you ask. It's turns out you need talent.

Ally:
So what talents do you actually possess?

Tyler':
Not a lot. I uh, I used to do a bit of falconry. I mean, I come from a long line of Irish falconers, oh I don't know if this qualifies as a talent (brings out cake)

Ally:
What is that?

Tyler:
This is our appetizer. It used to say "In case of astroid," but Aiden, my roommate, got high and I was in the shower.. so..

Tyler:
What?

Ally:
So this is the whole playful you-got-me-all-wet part, right?

Tyler:
Why make it sound cheap.

Ally:
It is cheap. I've seen this scene a hundred times. You know - you know what never happens in these scene? Tyler who doesn't really go to school? Tyler doesn't really care about his job.

Tyler:
Hum?

Ally:
No? (she turns over him a pot full of water) That.

Tyler:
You! You better apologize!

Ally:
Never!

Tyler:
Apologize!

Ally:
Your middle name is Keats, god, your parents are pretentious as hell.

Tyler:
You better apologize!

Ally:
Never!

Tyler:
Apologize!

Ally:
I rather eat monkeys.

Tyler:
Oh God.Not in the plans. Not in the plans. I surr... I surrender, geeze you're relentless.

Ally:
Victory at all costs.

Tyler:
Oh man, Now I'm pissed. (Gets out cigarette)

Ally:
You should quit anyway.

Tyler:
Why is that? Are cigarettes bad for you or something?

Ally:
Sorry, I fell asleep.

Neil Craig:
Asleep. Where?

Ally:
(sigh) my phone died. Hey that's mine! That's from my desk.

Neil Craig:
I was trying to find some information.

Ally:
Oh, What I'm now one of yours suspects?

Neil Craig:
When you act like one.

Ally:
Oh for God's sake.

Neil Craig:
Don't use that tone with me, Ally! I smell alcohol.

Ally:
Yeah, so do I.

Neil Craig:
That supposed to mean something? What's going on here, Ally? Trying to tell me something with this? You are all grown up now?

Ally:
Maybe it's time you get use to it dad, before you give yourself a heart attack.

Neil Craig:
Who is the guy?

Ally:
What makes you think there is a guy?

Neil Craig:
Yeah, he is a real prince. He gets you drunk. Send you home smelling like a brewery , smelling like god knows what. You sure can pick 'em!

Ally:
Yeah, I take after my mother.

Ally:
I'm not a child!

Neil Craig:
In this house, you are!

Ally:
My dad, he needs to take care of people. He just doesn't understand.. or.. doesn't know what's going on right now.

Tyler:
What's going on right now?

Ally:
Can I - Can I see? That's exactly him. It's like the cigarette it's the last coke in the desert. I can't believe he smokes in front of you!

Caroline:
Don't worry. I'm not that impressionable.

Ally:
So, you've got an art exhibit coming up?

Caroline:
Yeah…

Ally:
Do you mind if I come? I mean, I understand if you don't want some - like random girl there.

Caroline:
You're not random. You're Tyler's girlfriend.

Receptionist:
Charles, It's your son.

Charles Hawkins:
What?

Receptionist:
On the phone..

Charles Hawkins:
Tyler, you're on speaker phone

Tyler:
Yeah, I'm calling about Caroline's art show.

Charles Hawkins:
What about it?

Tyler:
Aaahh…

Charles Hawkins:
Hold on. Yes, Tyler.

Tyler:
Yeah, I was wondering if you want to have dinner beforehand.

Charles Hawkins:
What?

Tyler:
Do you wanna have dinner, before?

Charles Hawkins:
Yeah. Yeah, that would be fine. How many?

Tyler:
Three.

Charles Hawkins:
It's 22 today isn't it?

Tyler:
Yeah.

Charles Hawkins:
Happy birthday.

Tyler:
yeah thanks.

Tyler:
My father is a Yankees fan. It has something to do with the payroll.

Charles Hawkins:
It's something to do with the significant ball play

Tyler:
Right.

Charles Hawkins:
You're a Yankees fan when you where little. You wore a Lue Piniella for Halloween.

Tyler:
Just blind familiar allegiance. It's before I knew what's overpay, overfed, fat Bastards.

Charles Hawkins:
Who's fat? What Yankee is fat? Tell me.

Tyler:
It's a metaphor. Roger Clemens.

Charles Hawkins:
Hum.

Ally:
Luis Sojo. Shane Spencer.

Charles Hawkins:
He's big boned.

Charles Hawkins:
She knows I'll take care of her. That's all there is, Tyler.

Tyler:
That's all there is? It's not enough.

Tyler:
You have a daughter who sincerely believes that you don't like her. I mean, she is trying to communicate, she is speaking but why aren't you listening? I mean, why aren't you riveted? Why is this not the most important thing just for one night?

Charles Hawkins:
She knows I love her. Good God, you toss that word around when you have no idea what it means!

Tyler:
Maybe I don't, and maybe Caroline doesn't either.

Charles Hawkins:
I've provided her world and yours.

Tyler:
That doesn't mean you can just shatter it! Whenever you feel, When-when-when-when there's something better to do.

Charles Hawkins:
Who the hell do you think you're talking to? You pedal down here in your bicycle for Christ's sake. You got to take care of nothing. You're responsible for no one. You're a kid! You think you're the first one to lose anything? You think that wherever you feel in your heart I don't also feel in mine?

Tyler:
You didn't find him. See I found him. And you're just so... tragically blind that you think the rest of your children are just gonna hang themselves...

Charles:
[charges toward Tyler] You little piece of...

Tyler:
[People in the meeting separate them] What!

Aiden:
He's in love with you. I've only ever seen him look at one other girl the way he looks at you, and she's a lot shorter and shares his DNA.

Ally:
He lied to me.

Aidan:
You don't have to forgive him today. Just forgive him.

Tyler:
I didn't mean to hurt you.

Ally:
That's exactly what you meant to do.

Tyler:
When was the last time you had one drink?

Aiden:
.... Communion

Tyler:
Did you just say nihilistic?

Aidan:
Yeah, alright? I got it off a cereal box.

Aidan:
I sold your girlfriend a toothbrush.

Tyler:
You sold my who? What?

Aidan:
You know, your girlfriend. That voluptuous delightfully oblivious little blonde you left in your bed yesterday?

Tyler:
Yeah

Aidan:
Yeah, I sold her a toothbrush. I got three bucks.

Tyler:
Congratulations.

Aidan:
Yeah are in order. 'Cause that sale inspired our newest business venture. The S.L.U.T. It's a Single Lady's Universal Tote. It's a one-night-stand travel pack for women. You know? We throw in make-up and toiletries a cell phone charger, cab numbers... We retail it for $19.95. Maybe we'd do an infomercial.

Tyler:
Do you think women will buy this, with actual money?

Aidan:
Okay. Yeah. You know what? Fine. Be cynical. But think about it, at one point in history, two people had a conversation, a lot like this one about the lightbulb. One went on to fame and fortune, the other probably went to work at Mickey D's or something.