Tales of Monkey Island: Chapter 2 - The Siege of Spinner Cay

Guybrush Threepwood:
You mentioned "Summoning artifacts", that sounds cool.

Cheiftain Beluga:
Our prophecies speak of three golden artifacts that have been hidden throughout these islands. They are in the form of the ancient gods of the ocean: the Wise Turtle, Noble Sea Horse, and the Cranky Fish.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Cranky Fish?

Cheiftain Beluga:
Err... the prophecies are very old. Some of the translations may be a bit off.

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
[Guybrush is missing one hand] I can handle things here, but you've got to get your hands - er, sorry. I mean, you've got to get hold of those summoning artifacts, they are the key to everything.

Guybrush Threepwood:
But...

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
McGillicutty's men have got one of them stashed somewhere. Before you turned up I was about to go to Roe Island to follow up on a lead, and I've got LeChuck looking for the third one on Spoon Isle.

Guybrush Threepwood:
LeChuck? You let him go? You sent him on a mission?

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
Yes. Don't worry, dear. He's harmless.

Guybrush Threepwood:
I'm sorry, I thought I just heard you describe *LeChuck*, fearsome voodoo ghostly demonic pure evil incarnate pirate LeChuck, as "harmless"! I wonder when I started hallucinating?

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
Guybrush, he's different, and I don't have time to argue. He's going to need your help. [Baby voice] Please, my Swashbuckling Sea Stud?

Guybrush Threepwood:
No!

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
[Baby voice] Please?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Nu uh!

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
[Baby voice] Pretty please?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Nope!

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
[Baby voice] Pretty please with marshmellows?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Negative!

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
[Baby voice] Come on...

Guybrush Threepwood:
No way!

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
[Baby voice] For me?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Nyet!

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
[Baby voice] I'll be your best friend...

Guybrush Threepwood:
Forget it!

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
[Giggles] I'll make it worth your while...

Guybrush Threepwood:
Not gonna happen!

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
[Baby voice] But I'm your wife...

Guybrush Threepwood:
[sigh] Fine...

Guybrush Threepwood:
You said you came here partly for the monkeys... what monkeys?

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
All those poor monkeys LeChuck had cast a spell over on my ship. We were able to gather them all up and we're gonna make sure that they all get back to their proper habitat. Several of them are native to the Jerkbait Islands.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Sounds like you spent more time rescuing monkeys than you did looking for me. I can do anything those monkeys can do!

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
I've seen you scratch your behind in the morning, you're very talented.

Reginald Van Winslow:
Where to, Captain?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Isle of Ewe.

Reginald Van Winslow:
I... er, think we should discuss that sort of thing *after* we've reached our destination.

Guybrush Threepwood:
What? Oh... Isle-of-Ewe... sounds like "I love you". Ha, pretty good joke!

Reginald Van Winslow:
Yes sir... a "joke...".

Guybrush Threepwood:
Well, I met some merfolk.

Reginald Van Winslow:
And did ya find the lovely mermaid lass you were looking for?

Guybrush Threepwood:
I'm not sure? I can't tell the men from the women.

Reginald Van Winslow:
Ha ha ha! Well, just don't go kissin' em all! I found that out the hard way! Ha ha ha ha!

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
[Upon noticing that Guybrush has a hook for a hand] Oh my God! Your hand!

Guybrush Threepwood:
What hand?

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
Exactly! What happened to your hand? And *where* is your wedding ring?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Uh oh... uh... well, it happened liked this...

Captain McGillicutty:
[to merfolk leader] Arr! I should gut ya where ya stand!

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
Uh oh! I better get back there before they kill each other. Here, take my ring!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Aw, no... that's the one I...

Elaine Marley-Threepwood:
Just take it! Trust me! And *don't* loose it, Guybrush Treepwood!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Aw, come on. Who's absent-minded enough to loose *two* wedding rings

Pyrite Parrot:
[Gets up his shoulder] Bwaaaaaak! It's me, Guybrush Treepwood, Mighty Pirate!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Shut up, you!

Guybrush Threepwood:
[while swordfighting] Look behind you! A three-headed sea chimp!

Morgan LeFlay:
No thanks, I've already had lunch.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Ewww... that's taking it too far.

Guybrush Threepwood:
That's a pretty big rock for such a tiny little island. Maybe this is the tip of a giant underwater pyramid from a highly advanced ancient civilization! Or maybe it's just a rock.

Guybrush Threepwood:
What a dump! Look at this place! It's completely uninhabitable. Ah, reminds me of my first apartment.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Why do I have this uncontrollable urge to poke at fisheyes?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Can I have that sea horse?

Murkel Trenchfoot:
You mean this sea horse that captain McGillicutty gave to us to hide until all the artifacts are found? Of course! In fact, why don't we just give you the treasure, and then rip off our own arms so our captain don't have to? BEAT IT!

Killick Hardtack:
Look, I'm sorry Murkel, but McGillicutty clearly gave the idol to me. It's my duty, so I want to make sure this gets done right. I want to be the one who decides where to bury it!

Murkel Trenchfoot:
Sorry Killick, but if it meant that much to you, you shouldn't have left it sitting out in the open while you took a nap!

Killick Hardtack:
And by "out in the open" you mean placed in a small box, wrapped in wool and stuffed down my pants?

Murkel Trenchfoot:
Well, if ya didn't want pirates rummaging through yer trousers while you were sleeping, you should have said so! I've got it now, *I'll* decide where to bury it!

Murkel Trenchfoot:
Hey! Get yer grubby mitts away from our chest!

Guybrush Threepwood:
But it's empty. Sorry, I'm just fascinated by your chest.

Murkel Trenchfoot:
[Aghast] Excuse me? Do I have to get out the Pirate Harrassment handbook?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Maybe I'll just leave you alone.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Why don't you do it together?

Killick Hardtack:
What do you mean?

Guybrush Threepwood:
You know, both of you hold one end of the artifact and place it in the chest together. Then you can both set out together and both dig and bury the treasure!

Murkel Trenchfoot:
No! We ain't doin' this all sweatheart-like! What, would you have us hold hands and skip along the beach too? [Coughs]

Killick Hardtack:
Yeah, I ain't holding his hand! I've seen where it's been!

LeChuck:
If I'm going to prove to you that I am on your side, I need to be able to face challenges the same way you do, instead of threatening to cut off your head when I don't get my way.

Guybrush Threepwood:
If you did anything to hurt Elaine while I was gone, I'll swear I'll...

LeChuck:
The only thing I did to Elaine was to pull her from the freezing water along with a bunch of wet screaming monkeys.

Guybrush Threepwood:
[Giggling] Actually, that kinda sounds like our honeymoon.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Ya know, I would like a book from the library.

Tetra:
I knew you would! What can I get for you?

Guybrush Threepwood:
101 fish jokes!

Tetra:
101 fish jokes? Really? My ancestors have worked for centuries to gather these treasures of knowledge and preserve them within these walls so that our race will long be respected for our intellectual achievements, and you want fish jokes?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Yep!

Tetra:
[sighs] Fine. [Retrieves the book] Here, this ought to enrich your understanding of Vaycalian literature.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Great! I hope it doesn't keep me in stitches, or I might need a... sturgeon!

Tetra:
I hate you know.

Guybrush Threepwood:
[Hearing his voice from under the sand] Creepy! It sounds like I've been buried alive. Again. I think once is enough for a lifetime.

Captain McGillicutty:
Arrrr! You'll rue the day you crossed paths with me, boy!

Guybrush Threepwood:
[to McGillicutty] Rue! HA! [to himself] I really gotta look up that word.

Guybrush Threepwood:
[Trying to pick up a rubber tree] I think I've grown past the need to carry rubber trees in my pants. I'll just leave it here.

Guybrush Threepwood:
[Last lines] MANATEEEEEEEEE!

[All scream as they are swallowed by a huge manatee]

Guybrush Threepwood:
[Examining the Pyrite Parrot] It's made of pure pyrite, also known as "fool's gold." I wonder who the "fool" is?

Pyrite Parrot:
[Squaks] It's me, Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate!

Captain McGillicutty:
Enough of this! The only mouth you need to be concerned with is the one I'm gonna shove a hook through if I don't get those Summoning Artifacts!

Guybrush Threepwood:
So, what's everybody talking about?

Captain McGillicutty:
Arrrrr! Me and my men seem to have come down with a touch of the sickly Pox!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Ew!

Captain McGillicutty:
And these half-breed halibuts know how to get a hold of a cure, but they won't give it up!

Cheiftain Beluga:
We'll never give you the summoning items, "Captain" McGillicutty! Not after the years of polluting our sacred waters!

Captain McGillicutty:
So we accidentally spilt a few barrels of spoiled grog over the years...

Cheiftain Beluga:
Accidentally, my dorsal fin!

Captain McGillicutty:
Ah, shut yer blowhole!

Morgan LeFlay:
Oh, this is gonna be good! Pick up your sword and face me like a man!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Like you're a man or like I'm a man?