The Full Treatment

Denise Colby:
[Referring to the chair lift] will it break down?

David Prade:
Well, it's a mechanical device, you know. They all break down sooner or later when the stresses and strains reach a sufficient pitch of tension. [laughs]

David Prade:
You know, only the unsuccessful murderers disclose their crimes.

Alan Colby:
And the successful ones?

David Prade:
Well, they draw their reward from a feeling of personal power.

Denise Colby:
[to Alan] Tesoro, I've lied for you but never to you.

Connie:
[Screaming] Ahhhhhhh!

Harry Stonehouse:
[Annoyed] Now what?

Connie:
A spider!

David Prade:
Oh, it's quite harmless... unless you're a male spider. This is a female.

Connie:
You sure have good eyesight!

David Prade:
No, the male is always small, and, in case you're interested, he gets eaten by the female after he has performed his necessary function.

Baroness de la Vailion:
[In French] Ooo lala!

David Prade:
Ah, you know, women tend to do the same thing.

Baroness de la Vailion:
I must say I have never tried it.

David Prade:
[laughs] I mean mentally and psychologically.

Denise Colby:
You've obviously talked to a lot of spiders.

David Prade:
No, but I've talked to men, and, like spiders, many of them enjoy being eaten psychologically.

Harry Stonehouse:
[Alan seems to react negatively to this last remark] You can take me off the list.

David Prade:
Oh, some fight against it. It's a mechanism of this sort, a bid to stave off being eaten by women which operates in certain individuals. [Alan again appears to take Prade's remark personally]

Denise Colby:
Is that why you're a bachelor? [Everybody laughs]

David Prade:
Or before you know it, people are showing you their mole, or asking if smoking really causes cancer. Cigarette?