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Uncle Les: Ahhh, so you found your father's old stag movies, didn't ya?
Mr. Matheson: What we need is another war!
Lionel Cosgrove: That's my mother you're pissing on.
Father McGruder: Stand back boy! This calls for some divine intervention!
Paquita Maria Sanchez: Your mother ate my dog!
Lionel Cosgrove: Not all of it.
Lionel Cosgrove: They're not dead exactly, they're just... sort of rotting.
Father McGruder: I kick arse for the Lord!
Lionel Cosgrove: Party's over!
Uncle Les: Is that the one with the donkey and the chambermaid?
Zoo Keeper: Story goes, these great big rats come scuttling off the slave ships and raped all the little tree monkeys
Father McGruder: The Devil's among us!