Uncle Les:
Ahhh, so you found your father's old stag movies, didn't ya?

Mr. Matheson:
What we need is another war!

Lionel Cosgrove:
That's my mother you're pissing on.

Father McGruder:
Stand back boy! This calls for some divine intervention!

Paquita Maria Sanchez:
Your mother ate my dog!

Lionel Cosgrove:
Not all of it.

Lionel Cosgrove:
They're not dead exactly, they're just... sort of rotting.

Father McGruder:
I kick arse for the Lord!

Lionel Cosgrove:
Party's over!

Uncle Les:
Is that the one with the donkey and the chambermaid?

Zoo Keeper:
Story goes, these great big rats come scuttling off the slave ships and raped all the little tree monkeys

Father McGruder:
The Devil's among us!