The Malibu Bikini Shop

Alan:
So, tell me, Todd, what have you been up to lately?

Todd:
Well, I was up in Seattle for a while... I finally found a backer for my solar-powered hot dog stands! Then it rained for 60 days in a row, the guy backed out, so... I just been traveling around, staying with friends.

Richard J. Remington:
[Proudly showing Alan and Todd the bikini shop they've just inherited] Well, fella's, this is all yours.

Todd:
[Impressed - mainly by all the bikini-clad girls running around] Mr. R, I think I've found my calling in life.

Richard J. Remington:
[Sarcastically] Really! And I had you figured for a brain surgeon!

Alan:
Alan - [Just having signed over the bikini shop to Mr. Greene] So, Mr. Greene... Have you always been involved in retail?

Eric Greene:
Retail? [laughs dismissively]

Eric Greene:
I find it utterly repugnant. No. I'm going to make a few structural changes to this place, and then turn it into a recruitment and meditation center for my organization... The Holistic Church of Truth and Tranquility.

Eric Greene:
[Starts handing out brochures to Alan and the shop employees] We are offering an alternative lifestyle for young people seeking inner peace through meditation... prayer... and forfeiture of all worldly possessions. Perhaps you and the rest of your staff might be interested in joining our church. You may find yourselves seeking a new direction in life, now that you will be... UNEMPLOYED. Good day!

Jane:
[Angered that Alan has decided he didn't really want to sell the shop after all] Alan Finston, what's come over you? If you intend to go through with this idiocy, you and I are through!

Alan:
Jane, you're right... You and I ARE through! [laughs and pushes her out the door]

Kathy:
[Todd has unexpectedly returned; he was supposed to be in Hawaii] Todd, what happened?

Todd:
The Honolulu Airport was snowed in.

Ronnie:
Attention! Get set for Ida's Bikini Shop fashion preview. The look this summer is military. So look out, 'cuz the troops have landed on the beach. ["Camouflage-look" music video commences]

Todd:
[Allowing Juan and his friends to look into the dressing rooms via the two-way mirrors] Gentlemen, welcome. Remember: peeping is a privilege, not a right. Please remain seated at all times, keep your hands at your sides. Should you need oxygen, a mask will fall from the console above your head. Thank you. Have a nice day.

Juan:
Hey, thanks, man. We'll work for you dudes any time.

Todd:
Anything to further the education of young Americans.

[last lines]

Todd:
[starting race over megaphone] OK, time to get we!. Are you ready?

Alan:
Todd, I just read the invoice from that surgical supply house.

Todd:
[through megaphone] On your marks! [to Alan] So?

Alan:
The thread, the surgical thread we used to sew the bikinis...

Todd:
[through megaphone] Get set! [to Alan] What about it?

Alan:
It's for dissolving stitches, Todd!

Todd:
I know! [fires starter's pistol]

Alan:
We're gonna have to work awfully hard to sell the store. See, it's got to be turned into a profit-making business in order to attract a buyer. Now, I figure it'll take a couple of weeks to get everything taken care of. In the meantime, we'll just live here. Now you, Todd, can either help me out or not. It's up to you.

Todd:
[Grabbing milk carton from Alan, who is trying to put it away] No offense, pal, but I think living with you is gonna drive me crazy!

Alan:
[Throwing up hands and storming off] Aagh!

Todd:
...I said, 'no offense!'

Todd:
[singing] Tiny bubbles!... Oh, aloha, Mr. R!

Richard J. Remington:
'Aloha' means 'hello' and 'goodbye'! Goooood-bye!