The Man Who Sued God

Jules Myers:
You're going to sue one of the world's biggest insurance companies?

Steve Meyers:
Well, apparently I wouldn't stand a chance - I'm suin' God.

Jules Myers:
You know they say people make their own luck.

Rebecca:
That's stupid! Why would anyone make luck that bad?

Steve Meyers:
So if God does exist, the Churches must be liable.

Anna Redmond:
And the churches can only win the case if they prove God does not exist.

Steve Meyers:
[laughs] Do you want to tell them?

Primate:
It's a sign.

Cardinal:
A miracle.

Moderator:
A winged messenger.

Gerry Ryan:
It's a f***ing cockatoo!

Doctor:
Forceps. Pliers. Bone nibblers.

Steve Meyers:
Bone nibblers? What the hell are bone nibblers?

Doctor:
You're a very lucky man.

Steve Meyers:
Oh yes, it's been a brilliant day all round. Why don't you have a look at my prostate while you've got the bone nibblers handy.

Rabbi:
[about his Christian counterparts] They're praying to God. They should be praying for better lawyers.

Steve Meyers:
What do you think of a moral victory?

Anna Redmond:
A moral victory sounds good.

David Myers:
You can't win, because they can't afford to lose!

Steve Meyers:
[Smiling at Anna] What would you say if I said I'm falling in love with you?

Rebecca:
I'm proud of you Dad. No matter what happens.

Steve Meyers:
Well, nothing can stop us now! [Hugs her]

Anna Redmond:
So how long do you think it'll take you to pay the money back?

Steve Meyers:
Oh not long... twenty, thirty, forty years!