The Oh in Ohio

Alyssa Donahue:
I want you to discover... your vaginas.

Alyssa Donahue:
Now each of you will notice that you have a small hand mirror you on your easels. I want you to discover your vaginas, every glorious fold. every beautiful nook and cranny. This is your power center. Liberate your labia, value your vulva, claim your clitoris. Claim it, christen it!

Priscilla Chase:
i don't think i've ever looked at mine.

Alyssa Donahue:
Come on. Come on. Down you go.... Hello, Fifi.

Jack Chase:
Do you know I have a magnificent penis?

Coach Popovitch:
Oh shut up!

Jack Chase:
No, no. I have a magnificent penis.

Coach Popovitch:
Just Shut up!

Jack Chase:
It's true!

Coach Popovitch:
I'm not listening to you. [covering ears and walking away] la la la la la.

Jack Chase:
You're here to hear coach. Well hear this: My cock's jammin'! It's jammin'!

Coach Popovitch:
Me and wifey... we incorporate a lot of technology in our marital relations.

Jack Chase:
I'm uncomfortable now.

[Jack hops in his car and starts it when Kristen steps in]

Kristen Taylor:
Hey, Mr. Chase.

Jack Chase:
Get down. Someone might see you.

Kristen Taylor:
Oh.

[ducks down to his lap]

Jack Chase:
Okay, get up. Get up. Someone might see you. What do you want?

Kristen Taylor:
A ride. To the Case Western University biophysics lab. I work there.

Jack Chase:
Good for you.

[Kristen becomes topless]

Kristen Taylor:
Jack?

Jack Chase:
[nervously] Uh - Uh, yeah?

Kristen Taylor:
[whispers] F*** the sh*t outta me.

Kid at Vending Machine:
[Jack Chase bangs the vending machine in pursuit of a sandwich that is lodged in the machine. Unsuccessful, Jack walks away. A short and charming boy crosses to the machine and pulls out the sandwich and waives it in the air] Hey teacher, you forgot your sandwich!