The Program

Darnell Jefferson:
Darnell Jefferson, tailback.

Ray Griffen:
Ray Griffen, *starting* tailback.

Darnell Jefferson:
I know, that's why they recruited me.

Alvin Mack:
Let's open up a can of kick ass and kill 'em all, let the paramedics sort 'em out.

Joe Kane:
Let's put the women and children to bed and go lookin' for dinner!

Steve Lattimer:
Staring defense! Place at the table!

[smashes head through car window]

Alvin Mack:
Hey Bud is it true, Joe's out four f***in' games?

Bud-Lite Kaminski:
Yea.

Alvin Mack:
Sh*t, defense is gonna have to pitch shut-outs now... [to Lattimer] And you're gone for three? What the hell did you take that sh*t for?

Steve Lattimer:
Nobody seemed to mind when I was laying people out!

Alvin Mack:
Sh*t, I bust chops too, you don't see me all fu**ed up!

Steve Lattimer:
Not everybody has your ability Alvin, you do what you do to play!

Alvin Mack:
Well you ain't playin much now are ya?

Alvin Mack:
All you need to know is how to sign an NFL contract... period.

Darnell Jefferson:
I know man but I promised the Rev. I'd get a degree, I don't wanna let him down.

Alvin Mack:
Whatchu think nigga... you gonna be on the supreme court?

Steve Lattimer:
I don't know, its the battle, the going to war with the other guys, hanging together, having our own dorm, staying in hotels the night before the games, setting ourselves apart, being different than everybody else, having a chance to be somebody, to do something that people look up to you for, your strength, your courage, not everybody can play football... were the lucky ones

Coach Winters:
We gotta ring that bell! We gotta to ring that championship bell!

Steve Lattimer:
Ding motherfu**ing dong!

Regent Chairman:
This is not a football vocational school. It's an institute for higher learning.

Coach Winters:
Yeah, but when was the last time 80,000 people showed up to watch a kid do a damn chemistry experiment? Why don't you stick the bow-tie up your ass?

Darnell Jefferson:
Yo, motherf***er! You missed that block on purpose!

Ray Griffen:
Hey, *you're* the one who fumbled! Don't blame me!

Darnell Jefferson:
This is about Autumn, isn't it?

Ray Griffen:
Hey, *f**** Autumn and *f**** you! You just can't take a hint, can you *punk*? [throws water in his face on "punk", and Darnell starts a fight with him]

Alvin Mack:
Hey 23, don't think I don't recognize you, you poo-butt motherf***er! Hey pay attention when I'm talking to you, nigga!

Mississippi Tailback:
What?

Alvin Mack:
You're the guy who shot my mother aren't you?

Mississippi Tailback:
Shut up man, you know I never knew your mother.

Alvin Mack:
You were trying to steal her car, you cocksucker. You didn't think I was going to find you nigga, but I got you now, nigga. I'm gonna bust your gut open and watch you die!

Coach Winters:
Alright, this is Mississippi State's offensive set. Second and two on our own 24, what defensive set might we call?

Alvin Mack:
Eagle Zipper Hero, unless the setback shifts into the I.

Coach Winters:
Good [clicks to next slide], third and seven?

Alvin Mack:
Oakie Thunder Lion.

Coach Winters:
What's your assignment?

Alvin Mack:
Kill the quarterback.

Coach Winters:
[clicks to next slide]

Alvin Mack:
Hit the tight end so hard his girlfriend dies.

Coach Winters:
[clicks to next slide]

Alvin Mack:
Kill everybody.

Alvin's Tutor:
Which two city-states fought in the Punic Wars?

Alvin Mack:
I dunno, Detroit and Buffalo?

Steve Lattimer:
Yes! Yeah! STARTING DEFENSE PLACE AT THE TABLE! WOOO! [Charges out the door and heads into the parking lot]

Coach Clayton:
Looks like Joe's coming around, he should be ready for Saturday.

Steve Lattimer:
PLACE AT THE TABLE! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! [Smashes his head through a car window] YEAH! WOO!

Coach Clayton:
Jesus! You think we oughta tell coach?

Coach Humes:
Hell no, he don't wanna know about this.

Steve Lattimer:
WOO! [Smashes his head through another car window] YEAH!

Coach Clayton:
Make sure you tell Lattimer that the NCAA will be testing on Saturday.

Steve Lattimer:
[excited with blood running down his face] YEAH BABY! STARTING DEFENSE! WOO!