The Spirit of Christmas

[after Cartman makes a remark about Jews]

Kyle:
Don't you oppress me, fat boy!

Cartman:
Don't call me fat, buttf***er!

Kyle:
Then don't belittle my people you f***in' fatass!

Cartman:
GODDAMMIT, DON'T CALL ME FAT, YOU BUTTF***ING SONOFABITCH!

Kyle:
OH MY GOD! They've killed Kenny!

Santa:
Ho, ho ho! We meet again, Jesus!

Jesus:
You have blemished the meaning of Christmas for the last time, Kringle!

Santa:
I bring happiness and love to children all over the world!

Jesus:
Christmas is for celebrating my birth!

Santa:
Christmas is for giving!

Jesus:
I'm here to put an end to your blasphemy!

Santa:
This time we finish it! There can be only one!

Stan:
Dude, this is pretty f***ed up right here.

Stan:
Dude, we've got to think, here! What would Brian Boitano do?

Brian Boitano:
Did someone say my name?

Stan:
Hey look, it's Brian Boitano!

Kyle:
What incredible irony!

Jesus:
Behold my glory!

Stan:
Holy sh*t! It's Jesus!

Jesus:
I come seeking retribution!

Stan:
He's come to kill you 'cause you're Jewish, Kyle!

Kyle:
Oh, F***! I'm sorry Jesus, don't kill me!

Jesus:
Nay, fear not, I love all my children!

Kyle:
Whew!

Jesus:
Tomorrow is my birthday, yet all is not right.

Stan:
Your birthday is on Christmas? That sucks, dude!

Cartman:
Hey! Goddamnit, you stepped on my foot, you pig-f***er!

Stan:
Dude, don't say "pig-f***er" in front of Jesus!

Stan:
Yeah. And you know? I think I learned something today, it doesn't matter if you're Christian or Jewish or Atheist or Hindu. Christmas still is about one very important thing.

Cartman:
Yeah, ham.

Stan:
No not ham, you fat f***!

Cartman:
F*** you!

Stan:
Christmas is about something much more important.

Kyle:
What?

Stan:
Presents.

Kyle:
Ah.

Stan:
Don't you see, Kyle? Presents.

Cartman:
I say we help Santa Claus.

Kyle:
Your just saying that because he brings you candy.

Cartman:
Hey I don't have to take that kind of sh*t from a Jew.

Kyle:
Your such a fat f*** Cartman that when you walk down the street people go god damnit that kids a big fat f***.