The Substitute

Shale:
Did you ever look up the word "mercenary"? It's someone who "works merely for money."

Joey:
Everybody works for money.

Shale:
It's not the money that bothers me; it's the "merely."

Principal Claude Rolle:
Power perceived is power achieved.

Shale:
I'm in charge of this class. I'm the warrior chief. I'm the merciless god of anything that stirs in my universe. You f*** with me, and you will suffer my wrath.

[Shale confronts Juan Lacas and his cronies in the library]

Shale:
Ohh, I can't tell you boys how much I needed this.

Juan Lacas:
When we're done, I want you to say 'I'm Sorry' 100 times.

Shale:
Shh. No talking in the library.

Principal Claude Rolle:
Two of your students are in the nurse's office talking a lawsuit right now.

Shale:
Why, is the nurse a lawyer?

[Claude Rolle tells Shale about how the drugs are shipped to the school via bus]

Shale:
And they said busing would never work.

Hollan:
Cuba wimped you out. You lost your mind and now you lost your balls.

Shale:
[grabs Hollan by his crotch] Maybe I'll just borrow yours, on second thought they're too small.

Hollan:
[about to walk away] F*** YOU. F***ing queers.

Shale:
[Hollan fires near Shale to keep him from using his martial arts against the thug drug dealer] You f***ing psycho!

Hollan:
[Hollan shoots drug dealer dead behind Shale, and hands gun to Shale] Who's the f***in' psycho?

Rodriguez:
Move that briefcase, I wanna see that beautiful ass.

Shale:
I'd like to know what area of history you're studying.

Student:
The f*** you history!

Jerome Brown:
Mr. Smith, you lost any homeboys?

Shale:
Yeah Jerome, I lost a few homeboys.

Shale:
I'm sorry about those windows.

Hannah Dillon:
Hey, f*** it.

Shale:
Tilt those little puppies over here, baby.

Principal Claude Rolle:
You don't teach history anymore Smith. You ARE history!

Shale:
Who died?

Student:
You did.

Shale:
Guess I am a little late.

[last lines]

Joey:
It's definitely time to relocate.

Shale:
Yeah.

Joey:
It's too bad we had to f*** up the school. I feel bad for the kids tomorrow, man.

Shale:
They'll be okay. At least it's their school again.

Joey:
Yeah. Where the hell we gonna go, man?

Shale:
Uh, how's L.A. sound?

Joey:
More bomb threats.

Shale:
I heard the schools out there have a major drug problem.

Joey:
No! Ah, no, no more schools, man. Forget it.

Mr. Darrell Sherman:
Rolle was a cop. He knows the law.

Hannah Dillon:
Yeah, that's right Darrell, you keep the faith.

Rem:
Snipa on palm tree

Wellman:
Snipa on palm tree

Hollan:
Shale, I got four dead cowboys here, and one very f***ed-up looking Indian Johnny Glades. Can I put him out of his misery pretty-please?

Mr. Darrell Sherman:
You're sellin' out your own people, motherf***er!

Principal Claude Rolle:
Sell out? You know what I see when I look at you, Darrell? I see me. I see me when I was young and stupid. Young man, I'm just doing you a favor.

Shale:
You don't want soldiers, you want killers.

Matt Wolfson:
You know, you'll have to excuse me here Shale, 'cause I wasn't aware there was that much of a difference.

Shale:
Oh, there's a difference. You wanna know what the difference is?

Matt Wolfson:
Yeah, I'll play. You tell me what the difference is. But I don't want any...

Shale:
[pins him to the wall] The difference is... the difference is, you're still breathing.

Shale:
[about bowel sounds] Hey, that cereal really does work.

Rodriguez:
Motherf***er, you broken my finger!

Shale:
I don't break 'em on the first offense.

Mr. Darrell Sherman:
So is this a personal mission, or a joint operation between the CIA and the PTA?

Mr. Darrell Sherman:
You're a liar!

Principal Claude Rolle:
[calmly] I know. It upset me too.