The Video Dead

April:
You don't understand. He likes to chase skunks in the woods, and if he finds them he tries to mate with them. Only skunks don't like to mate with poodles, and then they spray him, and he really gets turned on!

Zoe Blair:
Your strange!

Jeff Blair:
Well that's me ok? I'm a STRANGE person!

Jeff Blair:
I saw him.

Jeff Blair:
I shot him.

Jeff Blair:
It's only fair that I get to use the chainsaw.

Taxi Driver:
I thought you said this was your house?

Zoe Blair:
It is, but I have never been here before. Actually it's my parents place.

Taxi Driver:
[Sarcastic] Oh...

Zoe Blair:
But they haven't ever been here either.

Jeff Blair:
Hey, I've got it!

April:
You do?

Jeff Blair:
The dog swallowed a ball. You were walking the dog, on a leash, and some total jerk threw the ball to the dog, and he accidentally swallowed it. All we have to do is push the ball down the dog's throat. They'll never know the difference.

April:
That is really sick! You think it'll work?

The Garbageman:
You don't know, what you're messin' with. Why in the hell don't you leave it alone?

Jeff Blair:
Who was she?

The Garbageman:
They look, just like you and I... But inside, they're, they're different. They have no soul...

Jeff Blair:
Who are you?

The Garbageman:
They call me the Garbageman. I dispose of human garbage.

Jeff Blair:
Why are you telling me all this?

The Garbageman:
Because you're in danger. There's been a little accident, an escape. They are very real, and very dangerous, Jeff. Be careful.

Jeff Blair:
No, wait! What do I do?

The Garbageman:
Take the TV, and lock it in the basement, and do one more thing. Get a mirror, and put the shiny side next to the screen. A mirror...

Jeff Blair:
But why mirrors?

Joshua Daniels:
The reason for the mirrors is simple, the dead can't stand to look at themselves. Same goes for when a living person comes up against one of 'em. When the living person shows fear, it all comes home again, that they're different. All they wanna do is kill the only thing they can never be: the living.

Jeff Blair:
But what if a person could keep from showing fear? Wouldn't he be safe?

Joshua Daniels:
Keep from showing fear? Only two ways of doin' 'em in, least as far as I know. First is to, trap 'em in a place from which there is absolutely no escape. Then they'll go crazy, eat themselves.

Jeff Blair:
And the other way?

Joshua Daniels:
The other way is much more simple. Since they think they're alive, by attacking 'em like you would the living. With guns, knives, anything. For a time, they can actually be convinced they're dead. To make that death final, however, they must not be buried. And left instead to be reclaimed, by mother nature.

Zoe Blair:
Then will this all be over? Will they really be dead?

Joshua Daniels:
Then they'll be where they belong... in death.