The War at Home

Maurine Collier:
I wasn't screaming. I was using my loud voice.

Karen Collier:
You know how in horror movies the door is swinging back and forth from one hinge in front of a dark room, and some stupid moron is walking up to it, just gonna go in, and you think to yourself, 'Why is she doing that? Why is she going in there? What could possible make her go into that room? Doesn't she know better?'

Donald:
Yeah.

Karen Collier:
[looks over at her house] Don't let me go in there, please.

Karen Collier:
You know, I'm not gonna be mad at you, because I know you have personal problems.

Jeremy Collier:
What are they? What are these personal problems that I have?

Karen Collier:
I don't know the medical term, but I suppose you could describe it as being a terminal jerk.

[repeated line]

Bob Collier:
Did I ever tell you I was friends with a famous cowboy?

Bob Collier:
What was that?

Jeremy Collier:
I said the blessing.

Bob Collier:
I didn't hear anything.

Jeremy Collier:
I wasn't talking to you.

Jeremy Collier:
Stay away from my door.

Karen Collier:
It is only your door on the inside. It's anyone's door out here, and I'll stand by it as long as I want to, and you just try and stop me.

Maurine Collier:
Well, unless we're going to have a nuclear attack of some kind, it's hard to imagine what else could go wrong.

Melissa:
They were scary, your letters.

Jeremy Collier:
They were scary cus I was scared.

Maurine Collier:
I wish they could would make Thanksgiving on a Sunday. Then everyone could go to a service before they eat with their families. It'd be more religious, like it was with the Pilgrims.

Jeremy Collier:
What about the Indians?

Maurine Collier:
Oh, Jeremy, there were no Indians at the first Thanksgiving.

Jeremy Collier:
That's why they have it. The Indians saved the Pilgrims from starvin' to death, so the Pilgrims invited the Indians to share their first harvest feast.

Maurine Collier:
Well, I'm sure the Indians were all Christians by then.

Jeremy Collier:
Oh no, they weren't.

Jeremy Collier:
I'm not having dinner

Bob Collier:
And why not?

Jeremy Collier:
I had a big breakfast.

Bob Collier:
Jeremy, I'm not joking around out here!

Jeremy Collier:
I'm not laughin' around in here!

Jeremy Collier:
Look, it's not that I'm asking for the car...

Bob Collier:
Hm?

Jeremy Collier:
But you know Jesus didn't have a job.

Bob Collier:
That's right. He didn't have a car either, and he walked everywhere.

Karen Collier:
Okay, I know you don't want to hear this right now. And I know you think I'm a complete idiot, and I know that the last you want to do right now is have a conversation with me.

Jeremy Collier:
Knowledge is power.

Jeremy Collier:
D'you ship to Gnome, Alaska?

Bob Collier:
Look, I know you had a rough time over there.

Jeremy Collier:
'Over there'! You can't even say it.

Bob Collier:
What?

Jeremy Collier:
Vietnam

Bob Collier:
Seen all your stuff downstairs.

Jeremy Collier:
I want Karen to take me to the bus station.

Bob Collier:
Alright, fine. [pulls money out of his pocket] I got twenty-one hundred dollars here for you; it's all the cash I had at the office. It's not a fortune, but it'll get you where you want to go, and help you get started if you're careful with it.

Bob Collier:
[pauses] And look, don't think that I'm kicking you out of the house, see. I think you should leave for for your own good, I think it's the right thing to do, and it's my responsibility as a father. Once you're away from here, and had time to think about, I think you'll agree.

Jeremy Collier:
I don't want it.

Bob Collier:
Well I want you to have it.

Jeremy Collier:
No you don't. You want me to take it, so you won't feel guilty, so you won't feel responsible.

Bob Collier:
[sighs] It's funny how I can be so wrong. I honestly thought you were gonna say 'thank you'.

Jeremy Collier:
Thank you? That's what you thought I'd say? No. You just want everyone to think you did the right thing.

Bob Collier:
I'm not doing this on what anybody might think. [puts the money down] I'll have Karen drive you wherever you want to go. [starts to close the door] I hope you'll think better of me someday.

Karen Collier:
You know what? I'm sorry I prayed for you. I am! I never thought it'd be possible to be sorry for a thing like that! But I apologize to myself for all the times I got down on my knees and begged to God to bring you home safe!

Jeremy Collier:
Such a self-righteous little B*TCH.

Karen Collier:
I am not taking this from you. You are NOTHING. You are a freak, an absolute zero, and you're not my brother anymore!

Bob Collier:
Two hundred and ninety nine.

David:
What?

Bob Collier:
Two hundred and ninety nine, I said, don't tell me you don't know what that means David. I think your old man knows what it means don't you Howe? That's your goddamn birthday David. For when they pulled the numbers out for the draft card lottery. Two ninety-nine, that's the number that saved your ass from having to go and fight in Vietnam! Would you like to know what Jeremy's number was? It was eight, eight, EIGHT! [throws cloth at David]

Bob Collier:
Don't you ever tell me what to say or what I can't say in my own house, or I'll take this goddamn turkey and shove it down your throat!

Maurine Collier:
I was taught to honor your father and mother. That's what I've tried to teach... I guess I'm not good enough to deserve that kind of respect!

Karen Collier:
Of course you are.

Maurine Collier:
[Karen preheats the oven and comes back to the table] [about Jeremy] I just don't understand what went wrong. His whole life he was so grown-up, so polite.

Karen Collier:
War changes people.

Maurine Collier:
War doesn't make you rude to your parents!

Melissa:
Jeremy is this class a part of your major?

Jeremy Collier:
I don't have a major.

Bob Collier:
This is my house! I make the goddamn rules here!

Jeremy Collier:
Look if you're going to talk to me about car-wrecks you can stop right now!

Bob Collier:
What? What are you talking about?

Jeremy Collier:
You told me that more people die in car-wrecks each year than died in Vietnam.

Bob Collier:
Well, I may have said that...

Jeremy Collier:
Not 'may have', did!

Karen Collier:
You know Jeremy was screaming in his sleep again.

Bob Collier:
Yeah I know.

Karen Collier:
I think that's what's been bothering Mother.

Karen Collier:
[Jeremy is sitting outside on the porch] You know it could be that he's waiting for someone to talk to him.

Bob Collier:
Maybe... but it's not us.

Jeremy Collier:
[from inside his room] F*** off.

Bob Collier:
[speechless at first] What did you say?

Jeremy Collier:
I said f*** off, go f*** yourself!

Bob Collier:
[furious] I'm gonna beat the sh*t outta you! [pounds on door]

Karen Collier:
[on their mother] She's gonna have a nervous breakdown.

Jeremy Collier:
I know she wants one. I know she ain't gonna be happy until she has one.

Bob Collier:
This is MY house!

Karen Collier:
This is your house? You know what, you can HAVE IT! What does that mean, this is my house? What does that MEAN? [runs upstairs]

Maurine Collier:
[the phone is ringing] Tell whoever it is I died.

Jeremy Collier:
[it is late at night, and Jeremy has caught his father sneaking peanut brittle] What is that, peanut brittle?

Bob Collier:
Yeah, your mother made some tonight for Thanksgiving. I thought I'd be clever and sneak a piece, when you just come in here and catch me.

Jeremy Collier:
Well if it makes you feel any better, she probably counted all the pieces before she went to bed. She'll wake up, check on it.

Bob Collier:
[looks scared] Y'think?

Jeremy Collier:
Yup.

Uncle Howe:
[Bob is cutting the turkey] Listen, Bob, if you hold that knife right here, then you get a better- [attempts to guide Bob's hand, and the knife cuts Bob's hand]

Uncle Howe:
Oh, oh, I'm sorry there, Bobby!

Bob Collier:
[mutters to himself] Why don't you carve the goddamn turkey yourself, you old fart!

Uncle Howe:
[is surprised] Uh, what's that?

Bob Collier:
[looks Howe squarely in the eye] I said why don't you carve the goddamn turkey yourself, you old fart!

Maurine Collier:
What the hell are you trying to do?

Jeremy Collier:
Nothing. [walks away]

Maurine Collier:
[calls after him] What is the matter with you?

Jeremy Collier:
You are what's the matter with me!

Karen Collier:
[narration] The history of my family, like the history of civilization, is the history of war. The getting into it, and outta it, and over it... and Vietnam should have been no different. But it was. It's final battle was fought on an unrecognized front, far from the shellings and the napalm and the guns and the shooting... it was a battle my brother Jeremy fought when he came back.

Uncle Howe:
I always say, you give me forty-five minutes and a Bible and I can prove conclusively that Noah's Ark could not have been in Turkey!

Brenda:
Oh, he can.

Maurine Collier:
I should study my Bible more.

Uncle Howe:
Well, it had to be somewhere, now, I don't know where exactly, well, I'm not up on it like I should be. But somewhere in the Alps.