They Came Together

Molly:
Can I ask you a question; how do you sleep at night?

Joel:
I usually jerk off and then sleep pretty soundly.

Molly:
I love fiction books; do you?

Eggbert:
No, they're not real.

Joel:
Why don't you just take a jerk, you hike!

Melanie:
[on the phone]... So he went down on me and I came in like one second, haha...

Joel:
Good morning Melanie.

Melanie:
Oh my boss is here, I'll call you later. Bye dad.

Joel:
Give me another one; make it a double.

Bartender:
You look like you had a bad day.

Joel:
Heh, tell me about it.

Bartender:
Well you came in here looking like crap, and you haven't said very much.

Joel:
You can say that again.

Bartender:
Well you came in here looking like crap, and you haven't said very much.

Joel:
[at dinner party] So, uh, Molly...

Molly:
Listen, before you ask me anymore questions from the Icebreaker Handbook, here's the 411: Upper Sweet Side NYC. Does the name ring a bell?

Joel:
Yeah. Little candy shop?

Molly:
Ding ding ding! Give the man a prize, he's a winner! What does he want Johnny? A new car! Yes, that is my store and I put my whole life into it.

Joel:
I had no idea.

Molly:
The only line you care about is the bottom line. Are you the kind of person I feel a strong connection to? Yes. Do I find you cute and funny? Yes. Could you be the guy that I fall for and live with forever? Yes, but the point is you're a corporate robot. And so it is with great pleasure that I say to you, go jump in a lake, meathead!

[chucks water in his face and storms off, everyone gasps]

Joel:
Molly. Wait, Molly!... Sh*t.

[awkward silence]

Joel:
I'll have what she's having, heh.

Bob:
...You are having what she's having. It's all the same food; the pasta and the beans and the lentils.

Molly:
I don't know Tiffany but she sounds like a stupid b*tch.

Brenda:
Desert's almost ready. Who wants coffee?

Eggbert:
I would love a double-cream, no coffee.

Valerie:
I'll have a half mocha macchiato.

Teddy:
I'll have a caf, half latte caramel venti frappuccino.

Molly, Joel:
Boy, whatever happened to just good old regular coffee?

Molly:
...A**hole.

Joel:
C*nt.

Molly:
[playing charades, acting like a shark]

Brenda:
Paws!

Valerie:
Laws!

Eggbert:
Jizz!

Teddy:
Jews!

Bob:
Time's up.

Molly:
Jaws. I was doing Jaws.

Kyle:
You can have the p*ssy, just save me the hole.