Tiger Heart

Steve:
Excuse me, guys... can I see your invitations?

Brad:
Is this your house?

Steve:
Yes.

Brad:
Your party?

Steve:
Yes.

Brad:
Can we get in?

Steve:
No.

Eric:
C'mon Brad, let's just go.

Brad:
No no no no... Steve... Steve, we can get in, right?

Steve:
You don't got an invitation. You don't go in.

Brad:
You don't GOT an invitation? Steve, quick English lesson; it's don't HAVE an invitation. As in 'Hi, my name is Steve. I don't have brain.'

Steve:
You're just a natural little Shakestein, aren't you?

Brad:
Shakespeare, Steve... it's Shakespeare. Didn't you see the 'No Idiots' sign on the front lawn?

Mr. Johnson:
What do you mean we're having the bedroom redone? We just had it redone last week.

Cynthia:
I'm having it redone... redone.

Mr. Johnson:
Should I bother to ask why?

Cynthia:
Well, I just read that Sharon Stone is having her bedroom redone in imperial blue. So... I want imperial blue.

Eric:
Keeping up with the Stoneses?

Stephanie:
Hi.

Eric:
So, hows your uncle?

Stephanie:
On his way to a full recovery.

Eric:
And how are you doing?

Stephanie:
Just fine... Tiger.

Eric:
Tiger?

Stephanie:
Yeah, that's what I'm gonna call you from now on. Like, your nickname.

Eric:
Mm, so we're giving nicknames now, huh? Well, can I call you Schnookums?

Stephanie:
Schnookums? Sounds like an air freshener. [pause] Well, this has definitely been one of the most exciting summers I've ever had.

Eric:
Yeah. Wonder if it gets any better?

Stephanie:
You know it does.

Eric:
Let me drive, Brad.

Brad:
No, you can NOT drive! Did you see what I had to go through to GET these keys? I have to eat vegetables!

Paulo:
You can rape, kill, torture a few little kids and blow up a few mailboxes... but just keep it in the neighborhood, okay?

Bobby:
Either Mr. Johnson turned into a pretty young woman last night... or he's been hiding something from us.

Eric:
There are two things in the world I can't stand; flat soda... and big slimy guys with tattoos.

Eric:
That guy is such a jerk.

Steve:
Hey, forget him. He's just compensating for a tiny...

Eric:
Nose!

Thug #1:
You gotta match?

Thug #2:
Yeah, my ass and your face.

Stephanie:
Bug off, worm!

Drunk:
If I wanted a heart attack, I would've had one myself!

Brad:
This place looks like a ninja pajama party.