Max:
Cheers to a new semester, full of potential that will surely go to waste.

Max:
You know, I've been thinking about your theory, your 'Annie Hall' theory. Specifically, I've been thinking you're insane.

Charles:
I said I was kidding, Max, and you just keep bringing it up.

Max:
Well, it's like you insulted my religion or something. It's like 'Hey Cardinal, I think Jesus is the reason you're not getting laid.

Charles:
"Max, if you're a Cardinal, Jesus IS the reason you're not getting laid.

Max:
Uh, well, I hope he's a better dancer.

Sam:
How come all you have to play here is video hockey?

Max:
I'm like a swan, I mate for life.

Sam:
You're the best I've ever seen at procrastinating.

Max:
I should be, procrastination is one of my favorite hobbies... Isn't it funny that my two favorite hobbies rhyme?

Max:
I can't support an acronym without knowing what it stands for. I once joined NAMBLA because I thought it was an animal rights group.

Max:
Giving me pot is like giving Richard Simmons crack. I'm paranoid enough as it is.

Max:
If it did, I'd be down at the Porsche dealership with a ski mask and Uzi.