Before Nicole Richie became a mommy and prior to Paris Hilton's brief but well-publicized incarceration, there was the fifth season of The Simple Life. In the 10 episodes that aired from May to August 2007, the former frenemies are again best friends forever and wreaking havoc in a summer camp-type situation. Because this is a reality series (wink, wink), the high-maintenance blondes are placed in fish-out-of-water scenarios that poke a little fun at themselves, but mostly mocks the real "simple" people they're trying to fit in with (at least on camera). Though the show is called The Simple Life, Hilton and Richie go out of their way to complicate matters. When they help run a fat camp, the rail-thin ditzes sabotage their clients' weight loss goals by taking them out for junk food. They teach young pageant girls how to flip the bird. And we won't even get into the anatomy lessons. But none of that is as repugnant as when Hilton coaches an 11-year-old would-be Lothario to pick up women... using a six-year-old girl as bait. There are plenty of actresses who aren't particularly good thespians, but they have a likable presence that makes them pleasant to watch on the screen. There is none of that here: Neither Richie or Hilton are good enough actors to make the viewer believe that any of this is real. And neither is interesting enough to make us forget that there really isn't a good reason to watch them do anything, especially when their humor is based on making fun of everyone who isn't them. That's not hot. --Jae-Ha Kim
When I was eight years old I told my dad that I wanted to take an acting class. He said, "There are fifty billion people in this world, if one-tenth of 1% of them wanted to be actors, that would still be five million people. Do you really think you're prettier than five million people?"
I think you're very pretty.
I'm gonna call it off.
Fritzi, what in the hell are you doing here?
Well I... I knew you'd be discussing stopping the show and I just thought how disappointed all the kids would be after...
You scheming little bitch!
Oh please! I'm a child.
If you think for one...
Oh save the speech, rummy. She's fucked, I'm ready, and the goddamn show must go on. So let's get cracking, shall we?