Tommy Bates:
Who says I'm too drunk to fight? Stand up and I'll show ya!

Cisco Kid:
But senor, I'm already standing.

Billie Graham:
Hey, Cisco, wait a minute! What about the gold mine?

Cisco Kid:
The gold of the rising sun is much more beautiful, senorita. And it is ours for as long as we live.

Cisco Kid:
Amigo, if the young lady refuses to say, "I do," shoot the gentleman in the leg.

Gordito:
Oh, si.

Cisco Kid:
And if the gentleman refuses to say, "I do," shoot him in the other leg. It only comes twice in the ceremony, no?

Pop Saunders:
Ah... yes!

Cisco Kid:
Good! He's got enough legs.

Tommy Bates:
Excuse me, sir. Could you tell me where the schoolhouse is?

Pop Saunders:
Surest thing. Up the street about two blocks... where it says Dead Eye Saloon.

Tommy Bates:
Well?

Pop Saunders:
That's it.

Tommy Bates:
What? The Dead Eye Saloon is a schoolhouse?

Pop Saunders:
Yep. The owner got killed so we moved the kids in there.