Clerks. [1994]

Before Kevin Smith became a Hollywood darling with Chasing Amy, a film he wrote and directed, he made this $27,000 comedy about real-life experiences working for chump change at a New Jersey convenience store. A rude, foul-mouthed collection of anecdotes about the responsibilities that go with being on the wrong side of the till, the film is also a relationship story that takes some hilarious turns once the lovers start revealing their sexual histories to one another. In the best tradition of first-time, ultra-low budget independent films, Smith uses Clerks as an audition piece, demonstrating that he not only can handle two-character comedy but also has an eye for action--as proven in a smoothly handled rooftop hockey scene. Smith himself appears as a silent figure who hangs out on the fringes of the store's property. --Tom Keogh

Buy this movie now

Randal Graves:
So your argument is that title dictates behavior?

Dante Hicks:
What?

Randal Graves:
The reason you won't let me borrow your car is because I have a title and a job description, and I'm supposed to follow it, right?

Dante Hicks:
Exactly.

Tabloid Reading Customer:
I saw one, one time, that said the world was ending the next week. Then in the next week's paper, they said we were miraculously saved at the zero hour by a Koala-fish mutant bird. Crazy shit.

Randal Graves:
So I'm no more responsible for my own decisions while I'm here at work than, say, the Death Squad soldiers in Bosnia?

Dante Hicks:
That's stretching it. You're not being asked to slay children or anything.

Randal Graves:
Not yet.

Tabloid Reading Customer:
And I remember this one time the damn paper said...

Tabloid Reading Customer:
I'm going to break your fucking head! You fucking jerk-off!

Dante Hicks:
Sir! Sir, I'm sorry! He didn't mean it! He meant to hit me.

Tabloid Reading Customer:
Well, he missed!

Dante Hicks:
I know. I'm sorry. Here, let me refund your money, and we'll call it even.

Tabloid Reading Customer:
I'll never come in here again.

Tabloid Reading Customer:
And if I ever see you again, I'm gonna break your fucking head open!

Dante Hicks:
What'd you do that for?

Randal Graves:
Two reasons: one, I hate when the people can't shut up about the stupid tabloid headlines.

Dante Hicks:
Jesus!

Randal Graves:
And two, to make a point: title does not dictate behavior. If title dictated my behavior, as a clerk serving the public, I wouldn't be allowed to spit a mouthful of water at that guy. But I did, so my point is that people dictate their own behavior. Hence, even though I'm a clerk in this video store, I choose to go rent videos at Big Choice. Agreed?

Dante Hicks:
You're a danger to both the dead and the living.

Randal Graves:
I like to think I'm a master of my own destiny.

Dante Hicks:
Please, get the hell out of here.

Randal Graves:
Oh, come on. You know I'm your hero.

Share your thoughts on Clerks.'s quotes with the community:

Citation

Use the citation below to add this movie page to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"Clerks. Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2014. Web. 22 Oct. 2014. <http://www.quotes.net/movies/Clerks.>.

Know another quote from Clerks.?

Don't let people miss on a great quote from the "Clerks." movie - add it here!


The Web's Largest Resource for

Famous Quotes & Sayings


A Member Of The STANDS4 Network