Jenifer Welles:
I thought you might be a little angry.

Alex Benedict:
How could I be angry looking at you? I just don't like ultimatums, that's all.

Jenifer Welles:
Well, I don't like being a secret mistress. It's not my style.

Alex Benedict:
I know. You told me.

Lieutenant Columbo:
Kinda hard to say. You see, I just picked him up at the pound. His time was up, if you know what I mean.

Lieutenant Columbo:
Okay, Doc. Thanks for staying open. I got these peculiar hours...

Lieutenant Columbo:
I can't stand suicide. Murder is bad, but suicide is sadder.

Lieutenant Columbo:
But that's me, I'm paranoid. Like every time I see a dead body, I think it's a murder. Can't imagine anyone murdering themselves. Especially a young girl like that, beautiful eyes. But that's me. I'd like to see everyone die of old age.

Janice Benedict:
How well did you know her, Alex?

Alex Benedict:
Oh, you know.

Janice Benedict:
I don't know.

Alex Benedict:
Now what is that supposed to mean?

Janice Benedict:
You know her phone number by heart.

Alex Benedict:
I know a lot of telephone numbers of people I work with by heart.

Alex Benedict:
You're always imagining that I'm, I'm leaping into beds all over town. I've never done that.

Janice Benedict:
Oh, Alex, don't. I know you.

Alex Benedict:
Why do all these people feel that they know me?

Lieutenant Columbo:
Terrific place. Terrific.

Alex Benedict:
Thank you. We like it.

Lieutenant Columbo:
Can I ask you a personal question?

Alex Benedict:
Please.

Lieutenant Columbo:
What do you pay in taxes on this place?

Lieutenant Columbo:
Anyway, what I was going to ask you is this: How much do you make?

Lieutenant Columbo:
I have a thought. Listen to this; what if she didn't commit suicide?

Alex Benedict:
Isn't that peculiar? Because that's what I was gonna say. I was awake, almost all night, thinking about the same thing!

Lieutenant Columbo:
No kidding.

Alex Benedict:
Yes...only I rejected the idea.

Lieutenant Columbo:
Oh, she could've passed out from the gas. She could've fallen off the chair and she could have bumped her head. But you know, that was a pretty good bump. You know, someone could've hit her.

Alex Benedict:
That's just an assumption on your part.

Lieutenant Columbo:
Right. Very difficult to prove.