Comrade X 
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Vanya: Well, there's some good news and some bad news. Last week all the towels were stolen. But on the other hand the water wasn't running so nobody needed the towels. Everything balances.
Mac Thompson: Hello, honeybun. Miss me?
Jane Wilson: No, I can always go to the zoo when you're away.
Mac Thompson: Oh, I've got rivals, huh?
Vanya: The communists have ideas. But they found out you can't run a government with everybody going around having ideas. So what is happening, the communists are being executed so that Communism should succeed.
Mac Thompson: What, uh, what are they singing?
Vanya: Same thing they always sing in prison: "We are Free."
Mac Thompson: I, uh, I got a confession to make. I lied to you.
Theodora: What about?
Mac Thompson: The USA. It ain't a spiritual desert. Say, it's pie a la mode, two-pants suits and the home of the brave, Pike's Peak and Coney Island.