Well, this is an honor. Probably the first time a corpse has ever been asked to deliver his own funeral oration. I expected to be carried out of Lordsburg, but here I stand on my way to Colorado filled with wind instead of lead. I couldn't include most of you in my will, but I do leave you all the unmined silver in these hills, all the unspilled whiskey, all the unkissed ladies and all the unfilled straights and flushes. I want to apologize for leaving the party. For me, there never has been, and never will be, another like it. And finally, I want to apologize to all of those of you who hoped to gain the distinction of being the man or woman to shoot and kill the notorious Brett Wade.
No apologies necessary, Wade. I'm here to oblige you.
All right, what is it?
You know why you've been coughing so much lately? You never gave that wound time to heal properly. It's inflaming your lung.
Is that a medical opinion or fact?
Oh, the way you go at it with whiskey, women and poker! It's a sucker's game!
I always thought the game would end with one well-placed bullet.
Well, it still might... there are plenty of shooting days until Christmas.
Well, just exactly does my job call for?
See that my patrons spend more money at the bar and lose more money at the table than they had intended to. You'll do this by treating every patron as if he were handsome and entertaining, and by regarding yourself as beautiful, desirable and approachable.