Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe [1991]

Who would have guessed that before politicking for governor, policing the galaxy was penciled in on Jesse "the Body" Ventura's curriculum vitae, right after professional wrestler? As Abraxas, Ventura plays a bi-Galaxian cop who chases a rogue law enforcer from the northern stars to the North Woods of Minnesota. "Good cop, bad cop" takes on a whole new meaning when Abraxas pursues the evil Secundus (Sven-Ole Thorsen) through assorted snow banks, evergreens, and a winter wonderland of death traps, en route to a final confrontation involving the anti-life equation, a limitless power source for the power-hungry Secundus. Not surprisingly, his acquisition of the anti-life equation will end life on this planet as we know it. Will Abraxas prevail? Helping Ventura wrestle with this question is Sonia, portrayed by Marjorie Bransfield, a young innocent, immaculately impregnated by Secundus. James Belushi, as an earthling law-enforcement type, lends a late helping hand. Unfortunately, the biography portion of the DVD neglects to illuminate Ventura's earlier career, when he ably presided over a much smaller jurisdiction than Abraxas. As a pro wrestler, Ventura typically clocked in for work in a pink boa, wraparound shades, and kicky short-shorts--a much livelier uniform than that issued to guardians of the universe. --Stephan Magcosta

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