Saturday Night Live alum and Adam Sandler sidekick Rob Schneider plays the title character of Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, a miserable fish-tank cleaner who stumbles onto a new and different lifestyle when he looks after the fish of a high-priced male prostitute (Oded Fehr from The Mummy). Deuce teams up with a man-pimp (Eddie Griffin), gets harassed by a crazed cop (William Forsythe), and of course falls in love with a cute client (Arija Bareikis). The nonsensical plot is festooned with gags about wet T-shirts, foul-mouthed senior citizens, flatulence, Tourette's syndrome, narcolepsy, and just about everything else you might imagine. More surprising is that, by and large, the movie works. It's a combination of bad taste and goodheartedness, similar to There's Something About Mary, which Deuce Bigalow is clearly emulating. It's not the pat "people should learn to accept themselves for who they are" theme or the formulaic happy ending; it's that the movie understands that sex is not the same thing as happiness or contentment. For all its crassness, Deuce Bigalow actually treats its characters as people, and the result is silly, obnoxious, and enjoyable. --Bret Fetzer
See this ring? Topaz, my mother's birthstone. Know where I got the money for it?
Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it?
Stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring.
There you go. That's uhh... $11.50.
Ahh, no, no. Perhaps you misunderstood me. I wish to cancel my original order of the martini and two olives, and go for just the plain cranberry juice, by itself, for the three dollars. And I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.
Ahh, perhaps you don't understand. Ahh... if you don't pay me now, I'm going to uhh... take this swizzle-stick, and uhh... I'll be shoving that right up your pee-hole.
I don't understand why women do it. I don't see how they can get any pleasure from it. It's gross and unnatural. It's not supposed to go up there. Frankly, I don't even understand why men want that kind of thing either.
So you're opposed to women being involved in modern space exploration?
Absolutely! Frankly, I'd rather take it up the butt
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