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American Beauty Quotes (1999)
 Movie favorited 2 times
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Famous American Beauty Quotations

Almost Famous
Almost Famous is the movie Cameron Crowe has been waiting a lifetime to tell. The fictionalization of Crowe's days as a teenage reporter for Creem and Rolling Stone has all the well-written characters and wonderful "movie moments" that we expect from Crowe (Jerry Maguire), but the film has an intangible something extra--an insider's touch that will turn the film into the ode to '70s rock & roll for years to come. We are introduced to Crowe's alter ego, William Miller (Patrick Fugit), at home, where his progressive mom (Frances McDormand, just superb) has outlawed rock music and sister Anita (Zooey Deschanel) has slipped him LPs that will "set his mind free." Following the wisdom of Creem's disheveled editor, Lester Bangs (Philip Seymour Hoffman in an instant-classic performance), Miller gets on the inside with the up-and-coming band Stillwater (a fictionalized mixture of the Allman Brothers, Led Zeppelin, and others). A simple visit with the band turns into a three-week, life-altering odyssey into the heyday of American rock. Of the characters he meets on the road, the two most important are groupie extraordinaire Penny Lane (Kate Hudson in a star-making performance) and Stillwater's enigmatic lead guitarist (Billy Crudup), who keeps stringing Miller along for an interview. From the handwritten credits (done by Crowe) to the bittersweet finale, Crowe's comedic valentine is an indelible, heartbreaking romance of music, women, and the privilege of youth. --Doug Thomas

American Beauty
From its first gliding aerial shot of a generic suburban street, American Beauty moves with a mesmerizing confidence and acuity epitomized by Kevin Spacey's calm narration. Spacey is Lester Burnham, a harried Everyman whose midlife awakening is the spine of the story, and his very first lines hook us with their teasing fatalism. It's an audacious start for a film that justifies that audacity. Weaving social satire, domestic tragedy, and whodunit into a single package, Alan Ball's first theatrical script dares to blur generic lines and keep us off balance, winking seamlessly from dark, scabrous comedy to deeply moving drama. The Burnham family joins the cinematic short list of great dysfunctional American families, as Lester is pitted against his manic, materialistic realtor wife, Carolyn (Annette Bening, making the most of a mostly unsympathetic role) and his sullen, contemptuous teenaged daughter, Jane (Thora Birch, utterly convincing in her edgy balance of self-absorption and wistful longing). Into their lives come two catalytic outsiders. A young cheerleader (Mena Suvari) jolts Lester into a sexual epiphany that blooms into a second adolescence. And an eerily calm young neighbor (Wes Bentley) transforms both Lester and Jane with his canny influence. Credit another big-screen newcomer, English theatrical director Sam Mendes, with expertly juggling these potentially disjunctive elements into a superb ensemble piece that achieves a stylized pace without lapsing into transparent self-indulgence. Mendes has shrewdly insured his success with a solid crew of stage veterans, yet he's also made an inspired discovery in Bentley, whose Ricky Fitts becomes a fulcrum for both plot and theme. Cinematographer Conrad Hall's sumptuous visual design further elevates the film, infusing the beige interiors of the Burnhams' lives with vivid bursts of deep crimson, the color of roses--and of blood. --Sam Sutherland


  • Angela Hayes: I don't think that there's anything worse than being ordinary. »

  • Angela Hayes: I'm serious. He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out. You know, like, "Say hello to Mr. Happy."
    Playground Girl #1: Gross.
    Angela Hayes:
    It wasn't gross. It was kinda cool.
    Playground Girl #1: So did you do it with him?
    Angela Hayes:
    Of course I did. He's like a really well known photographer. He shoots for "Elle" on like a regular basis. It would have been so majorly stupid of me to turn him down.
    Playground Girl #2: You are a total prostitute.
    Angela Hayes:
    Hey! That's how things really are. You just don't know 'cause you're this pampered little suburban chick.
    Playground Girl #2: So are you. You've only been in "Seventeen" once and you looked fat! So stop acting like you're goddamn Christy Turlington!
    Angela Hayes:
    Cunt! I am so sick of people taking their insecurities out on me.
    »

  • Angela Hayes: If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model. »

  • Angela Hayes: It's that psycho next door. Jane, what if he worships you? What if he's got a shrine with pictures of you surrounded by dead people's heads and stuff? »

  • Angela Hayes: Jane, he's a freak!
    Jane Burnham:
    Then so am I! And we'll always be freaks and we'll never be like other people and you'll never be a freak because you're just too... perfect!
    »

  • Angela Hayes: So, you're fucking psycho-boy on a regular basis now? Tell me, has he got a big dick?
    Jane Burnham:
    It's not like that.
    Angela Hayes:
    What, hasn't he got one?
    Jane Burnham:
    I'm not going to talk about his dick with you, OK?
    »

  • Angela Hayes: This is my first time. »

  • Angela Hayes: What a freak! And why does he dress like a bible salesman?
    Jane Burnham:
    He's just so confident, it can't be real.
    Angela Hayes:
    I don't believe him. I mean, he didn't even like, look at me once!
    »

  • Angela Hayes: What do you want?
    Lester Burnham:
    Are you kidding? I want you.
    »

  • Angela Hayes: Yeah? Well at least I'm not ugly!
    Ricky Fitts:
    Yes you are, and you're boring and totally ordinary and you know it.
    »

  • Angela Hayes: You total slut, you have a crush on him. You're defending him, you love him, you wanna have, like, ten thousand of his babies. »

  • Brad Dupree: Got a minute?
    Lester Burnham:
    For you, Brad, I've got five!
    »

  • Brad Dupree: Man, you are one twisted fuck.
    Lester Burnham:
    Nope, I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose.
    »

  • Buddy Kane: In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times. »

  • Carolyn Burnham: Are you trying to look unattractive?
    Jane Burnham:
    Yes.
    Carolyn Burnham:
    Well, congratulations. You've succeeded admirably.
    »

  • Carolyn Burnham: Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!
    Lester Burnham:
    On what grounds? I'm not a drunk, I don't fuck other women, I've never hit you, I don't mistreat you... I don't even try to touch you since you've made it so abundantly clear how unnecessary you consider me to be! But I did support you when you got your license, and some people might think that entitles me to half of what's yours. So, turn off the light when you come to bed!
    »

  • Carolyn Burnham: Fuck me, your majesty! »

  • Carolyn Burnham: Honey, don't be weird! »

  • Carolyn Burnham: Honey, I'm so proud of you. I watched you very closely, and you didn't screw up once! »

  • Carolyn Burnham: I refuse to be a victim! »

  • Carolyn Burnham: I will sell this house today, I will sell this house today. »

  • Carolyn Burnham: My company sells an image. It's part of my job to live that image. »

  • Carolyn Burnham: Oh, I see. You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated here?
    Lester Burnham:
    I'm not? Well then come on, baby, I'm ready!
    »

  • Carolyn Burnham: There happens to be a lot about me that you don't know, Mr. Smarty Man. There's plenty of joy in my life. »

  • Carolyn Burnham: Uh Buddy, this is my...
    Lester Burnham:
    Her husband. We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time.
    »

  • Carolyn Burnham: Uh, who's car is that out front?
    Lester Burnham:
    Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule!
    »

  • Carolyn Burnham: Well, I see you're smoking pot now. I think using psychotropic drugs is a very positive example to set for our daughter.
    Lester Burnham:
    You're one to talk, you bloodless, money-grabbing freak.
    »

  • Carolyn Burnham: What are you doing?
    Lester Burnham:
    Nothing.
    Carolyn Burnham:
    You were masturbating!
    Lester Burnham:
    I was not.
    Carolyn Burnham:
    Yes you were!
    Lester Burnham:
    Oh, all right! So shoot me, I was whacking off! That's right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying "hi" to my monster!
    »

  • Carolyn Burnham: What the hell do you think you're doing?
    Lester Burnham:
    Uh oh! Mom's upset! Working out. I'm going to whale on my pecs and then do my back.
    »

  • Carolyn Burnham: You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have. When I was your age, we... lived in a duplex! We didn't even have our own house! »

  • Carolyn Burnham: Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey?
    Lester Burnham:
    Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.
    Carolyn Burnham:
    Your father seems to think this type of behavior is something to be proud of.
    Lester Burnham:
    And your mother seems to prefer I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink.
    Carolyn Burnham:
    How dare you speak to me that way in front of her. And I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you LOSE your job.
    Lester Burnham:
    Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?" I QUIT. Someone pass me the asparagus.
    »

  • Catering Boss: I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here.
    Ricky Fitts:
    Fine. So don't pay me.
    Catering Boss:
    Excuse me?
    Ricky Fitts:
    I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone.
    Catering Boss:
    ...asshole.
    Lester Burnham:
    I think you just became my personal hero!
    »

  • Colonel Frank Fitts: What is this? The fucking Gay Pride parade! »

  • Colonel Frank Fitts: Where's your wife?
    Lester Burnham:
    Uh, I dunno. Probably out fucking that dorky, prince-of-real-estate asshole. And you know what? I don't care.
    Colonel Frank Fitts:
    Your wife is with another man and you don't care?
    Lester Burnham:
    Nope. Our marriage is just for show. A commercial for how normal we are when we're anything but.
    »

  • Colonel Frank Fitts: You need structure... and discipline.
    Ricky Fitts:
    Thank you for trying to teach me, sir. Don't give up on me, Dad.
    »

  • Jane Burnham: Are you scared?
    Ricky Fitts:
    I don't get scared.
    Jane Burnham:
    My parents will try to find me.
    Ricky Fitts:
    Mine won't.
    »

  • Jane Burnham: Could he be any more pathetic?
    Angela Hayes:
    I think it's sweet. And I think he and your mother have not had sex in a long time.
    »

  • Jane Burnham: I don't think we can be friends anymore.
    Angela Hayes:
    You're way too uptight about sex.
    Jane Burnham:
    Just don't fuck my dad, all right? Please?
    Angela Hayes:
    Why not?
    »

  • Jane Burnham: I know you think my dad's harmless, but you're wrong. »

  • Jane Burnham: I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts every time I bring a girlfriend home from school. »

  • Jane Burnham: Somebody should just put him out of his misery.
    Ricky Fitts:
    Do you want me to kill him?
    Jane Burnham:
    Yeah, would you?
    »

  • Jim Olmeyer: Do you just want to lose weight, or are you looking to increase strength and flexibility as well?
    Lester Burnham:
    I want to look good naked!
    »

  • Jim Olmeyer: Hello! We're your neighbors from two doors down and we just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood!
    Jim "JB" Berkely: Everything's from our garden, except for the pasta.
    Jim Olmeyer:
    Yes, it's from Fizzoli's, it's amazingly fresh, you just pop it in water and it's done! I'm Jim Olmeyer
    Jim Olmeyer:
    And this is my partner Jim.
    Jim "JB" Berkely: Jim Berkely, but people call me J.B.
    Colonel Frank Fitts:
    Ah, let's just cut to it, what are you selling?
    Jim Olmeyer:
    Nothing, we just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.
    Colonel Frank Fitts:
    You said you're partners, so, uh what's your business?
    Jim Olmeyer:
    Well, he's a tax attorney.
    Jim "JB" Berkely: And he's an anesthesiologist.
    »

  • Lester Burnham: How's Jane?
    Angela Hayes:
    What do you mean?
    Lester Burnham:
    I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable? I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it.
    Angela Hayes:
    She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love.
    Lester Burnham:
    Good for her.
    Angela Hayes:
    How are you?
    Lester Burnham:
    God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that... I'm great.
    Angela Hayes:
    I've gotta go to the bathroom.
    Lester Burnham:
    I'm great.
    »

  • Lester Burnham: I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up. »

  • Lester Burnham: Look at me, jerking off in the shower... This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here. »

  • Lester Burnham: Man, oh man. Man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man. »

  • Lester Burnham: My name is Lester Burnham. This is my neighborhood; this is my street; this is my life. I am 42 years old; in less than a year I will be dead. Of course I don't know that yet, and in a way, I am dead already. »

  • Lester Burnham: Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die. »

  • Lester Burnham: Smile! You're at Mr. Smiley's. »

  • Lester Burnham: So Janie, how was school?
    Jane Burnham:
    It was okay.
    Lester Burnham:
    Just okay?
    Jane Burnham:
    No dad, it was spectacular.
    »

  • Lester Burnham: Then I guess I'll have to throw in a sexual harassment charge.
    Brad Dupree:
    Against who?
    Lester Burnham:
    Against YOU. Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?
    Brad Dupree:
    Man, you are one twisted fuck.
    Lester Burnham:
    No, Brad; I'm just an ordinary guy who has nothing left to lose.
    »

  • Lester Burnham: This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living. Well, honey, that's just nuts. »

  • Lester Burnham: When I was your age, I flipped burgers all summer just to be able to buy an eight-track.
    Ricky Fitts:
    That sucks.
    Lester Burnham:
    No, actually it was great. All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me.
    »

  • Lester Burnham: You don't get to tell me what to do ever again. »

  • Lester Burnham: You don't think it's kinda weird & fascist?
    Carolyn Burnham:
    Possibly, but you don't want to be unemployed.
    Lester Burnham:
    Oh well, alright, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient that way.
    »

  • Mr. Smiley's Manager: I don't think you'd fit in here.
    Lester Burnham:
    I have fast food experience.
    Mr. Smiley's Manager:
    Yeah, like twenty years ago!
    Lester Burnham:
    Well, I'm sure there have been amazing technological advances in the industry, but surely you must have some sort of training program. It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn.
    »

  • Ricky Fitts: I didn't mean to scare you. I just think you're interesting. »

  • Ricky Fitts: I was filming this dead bird.
    Angela Hayes:
    Why?
    Ricky Fitts:
    Because it's beautiful.
    »

  • Ricky Fitts: I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious. »

  • Ricky Fitts: It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in. »

  • Ricky Fitts: It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful you can look right back.
    Jane Burnham:
    And what do you see?
    Ricky Fitts:
    Beauty.
    »

  • Ricky Fitts: My dad thinks I paid for all this with catering jobs. Never underestimate the power of denial. »

  • Ricky Fitts: She's not your friend. She's just someone you use to feel good about yourself. »

  • Ricky Fitts: So, do you party?
    Lester Burnham:
    Excuse me?
    Ricky Fitts:
    Do you get high?
    »

  • Ricky Fitts: Welcome to America's weirdest home videos. »

  • Ricky Fitts: You're right, I suck dick for money.
    Colonel Frank Fitts:
    Boy...
    Ricky Fitts:
    Two thousand dollars, I'm that good.
    Colonel Frank Fitts:
    Get out.
    Ricky Fitts:
    And you should see me fuck. I'm the best piece of ass in three states.
    Colonel Frank Fitts:
    Get out! I don't ever want to see you again.
    Ricky Fitts:
    What a sad old man you are.
    »



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