Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid [2004]
So here's the deal: A bunch of sassy scientific types, who all look as though tey've spent just as much time lifting barbells as they have beakers, head out into Borneo to find some rare flower that's the "pharmaceutical equivalent to the fountain of youth"--and end up dodging the digestive system of several mutant snakes during mating season. You gotta hate when that happens. If you don't, you soon will, because this in-name-only sequel to Anaconda, 1997's now seminal guilty pleasure, is proof that more does not necessarily mean merrier. The thing isn't even good-bad; it's cheap and completely unmemorable even as popcorn fodder. Director Dwight Little and his posse of his screenwriters have neither the budget nor the imagination to come on like a rip-snorting Aliens clone--it's pretty much one snake at a time, and frankly more concerned with the conniving British baddie (Matthew Marsden) who really, really wants that orchid. The cast of no-names is destined to remain that way, although the chiseled Johnny Messner, as a rugged jungle guide, provides a few hoots in his laughably stoic attempt at Vin Diesel-dom. It's hard to determine who you'd like eaten first. --Steve Wiecking