Stewardess:
Can I get you anything to drink?

Clark Griswold:
Honey? I guess I'll have a Coke.

Stewardess:
Do you want that in the can?

Clark Griswold:
No, I'll have it right here.

Clark Griswold:
There it is, kids, my motherland.

Rusty Griswold:
Dad, Grandma is from Chicago.

Clark Griswold:
Shut up, Russ.

Ellen Griswold:
Clark, you're on the wrong side of the road.

Clark Griswold:
Yes I know, honey, I'm also on the wrong side of the car.

Clark Griswold:
Aw, there's Buckingham Palace, kids, that's where the Queen lives and works.

Audrey Griswold:
What does she do?

Clark Griswold:
She queens. And she vacuums.

Ellen Griswold:
Look back there!

Clark Griswold:
Yeah, it's a hooker...

Ellen Griswold:
Look who she's with!

Rusty Griswold:
Who was it that said when in Rome do as the Romans do?

Clark Griswold:
That was Rome not Paris. This is Paris and you're drunk.

Rusty Griswold:
That's it! That's what I want my hair to look like dad!

Clark Griswold:
Oh Rusty you don't want to look like a rooster do you?

Clark Griswold:
There's the left bank kids. I bet you can't guess what bank is on the right.

Rusty Griswold:
The Bank of America.

Clark Griswold:
What are we looking for?

Audrey Griswold:
Sex dad.

Clark Griswold:
That'll do Audrey.

Rusty Griswold:
Dad that's German for six.

Clark Griswold:
Get in.

Rusty Griswold:
What Happened?

Audrey Griswold:
Oh, not much. Mom's been kidnapped.

Ellen Griswold:
Clark, why don't we just forget the "Pig-in-a-Poke" itinerary, and just play it by ear, like normal people?

Clark Griswold:
Honey, we're not normal people. We're the Griswolds.

Clark Griswold:
Hey look kids, there's Big Ben, and there's Parliament.