Narrator:
Johnny Turbine grew up as an orphan on a Dude Rance in Montana. He likes standing in front of large flags and fancying himself a true blue American hero.

Narrator:
Traci Torpedoes holds the honor of shooting down one thousand aircraft.

Traci Torpedoes:
One thousand and twelve, swine!

Narrator:
One thousand and twelve

Traci Torpedoes:
And a man in a jetpack. He looked very suspicious

Narrator:
Pauli Atchi, Chicago's most notorious crime boss.

Narrator:
Oh? What business, crime?

Narrator:
I know. I read the placemants.

Narrator:
Island Jack was leading a peaceful life on his beach in Danger Island, when the Island chief volunteered him for the race.

Traci Torpedoes:
These bullets will only make me hate you more.

Narrator:
Well... yes, but only because I'm rich.

Narrator:
During your stay in Coyote Canyon, you must protect the sheriff from some bandits, rescue a damsel, and cause a stampede into an Indian reservation. Sure, these are things you could have done from the comfort of your own home with a couple of well-placed phone calls, but you're here now so lend a hand.

Baron Von Slaughter:
Like I said to the other guy, I WOULD LIKE TO KILL YOU... and then, possibly get a free consultation if you don't mind.