George Carlin:
I don't have pet peeves; I have major psychotic fucking hatreds, okay. And it makes the world a lot easier to sort out.

George Carlin:
Here's another guy thing that sucks. These t-shirts that say: "Lead, follow, or get out of the way". You ever see that? This is more of that stupid Marine Corps bullshit. Obsolete, male impulses from a hundred thousand years ago, "Lead, follow, or get out of the way". You know what I do when I see that shirt; I obstruct. I stand right in the guy's path, force him to walk around me, he gets a little past me, I spin him around kick him in the nuts, rip off his shirt, wipe it on my ass, and shove it down his fucking throat. Hey, listen that's all these marines are looking for; a good time.

George Carlin:
Here's another example of overprotection. You ever notice on the TV-news every time some guy with an AK47 strolls on to a school yard and kills three or four kids and a couple of teachers, the next day... the next day the school in overrun with counsellors, and psychiatrics, and grief counsellors, and trauma therapists trying to help the child cope. Shit, when I was in school, someone came to our school and killed three or four of us; we went right on with our arithmetic: "35 classmates minus 4... equals 31". We were tough.

George Carlin:
I'm thinking of opening up a motel and calling it "The Sleep and Fuck". Wouldn't that be a good, honest name for a motel, who needs this "Shady Pines"-bull shit? "The Sleep and Fuck"-motel. Get me one of them big neon signs: "Sleep", "Fuck", "Sleep", "Fuck".