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George of the Jungle Quotes (1997)
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Famous George of the Jungle Quotations
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Though half the cast has changed from the first George of the Jungle, the silliness and self-referential jokes remain--for example, in an unusual display of professional honesty, Christopher Showerman explains to the audience that he's the new George because the producers were too cheap to re-hire Brendan Fraser. While a mean lion (voiced by Michael Clarke Duncan, The Green Mile) connives to take over running the jungle world, George's wife Ursula (Julie Benz) is imperiled when her mother and her former fiancé (Thomas Haden Church, returning from the first movie) scheme to bring her back to civilization through kidnapping and hypnosis. Though George of the Jungle 2 aims its combination of goofy humor and computer-generated animals at kids, the camera spends a lot of time ogling Showerman's buffed body. --Bret Fetzer
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- Ape: "All of George's secrets". There's the shortest book ever written. »
- Ape: George, what on earth are you doing?
George: George just feel like looking a little special today. That all »
- George: Dog eat dog? Dog eat dog here? George never bringing Shep here. Uh uh. Never. »
- George: George not even trying hard. »
- George: No one here to feel stupid for. Just George »
- George: Ooh ooh eee eee aah aah!
Mercenary: Oh, see the monkey. »
- George: So you no want George to be Ursula's mate?
Ursula's mother: I'd rather have my mouth nailed to this table every morning at breakfast.
George: That hurt.
Ursula's mother: Not as much as you will if you do anything to screw up my daughter's marriage to Lyle van de Groot. »
- George: Something funny about this fella. »
- George: Sometime George smash into tree. And sometime...
George: Sometime George fall out of treehouse. But not feel stupid. »
- George: That close one, huh?
Ursula Stanhope: Watch out for that tree!
George: Oops. »
- George: To swing or not to swing? Swing. »
- Lyle: Pardon me, girls. I know you're feeling pretty hey sailor up here about now. But if you would just let me order a bowl of fried clams we can all have smallpox tomorrow morning. »
- Lyle: Sorry, Stonebelly. The better man won, that's all. Or, I should say, the one who brought mercenaries won; *that's* all. »
- Lyle: Ursula, I found your scrunchy. »
- Max: 50 zamoles a man, what do you say?
Kwame: They only speak Swahili.
Lyle: Wait a second...
Max: Done. »
- Max: Let's take care of him.
George: Huh?
Ape: Why didn't you come sooner?
George: Why Ape have little stars around head?
Ape: George, remember everything I told you about Queensbury rules and fighting fair?
George: Uh-huh.
Ape: Well, now's a good time to forget it. »
- Max: Thor, were you fighting with the Narrator?
Thor: He started it.
Narrator: Did not.
Thor: You did too.
Narrator: Did not
Thor: You did too.
Max: Thor, stop it. »
- N'Dugo: Bad guy falls in poop: Classic element of physical comedy. Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh. Ready? »
- Narrator: 25 years later, the bouncing baby boy has become a swinging jungle king. He is swift, he is strong, he is sure, he is smart...
Narrator: ...he is unconscious. »
- Narrator: And so, onward and upward the tired trekkers trudged on feverished footsies on the perilous paths. When they beheld the mighty Ape Mountain, the reacted with awe.
Narrator: I said, "Awe." A-W-E.
Narrator: That's better. »
- Narrator: Don't worry. Nobody dies in this story. They just get really big boo-boos. »
- Narrator: Later, in the Men's Department, the jungle king was pleased to find he looked pretty good in Armani.
George: Pretty darn good. »
- Narrator: Meanwhile, at a very expensive waterfall set... »
- Narrator: Meanwhile, the Jungle King would have been upset to know that at that moment, Kwame and his men were drawing dangerously close! That is, dangerously close to shoving a coconut up Lyle's... sleeping bag. »
- Narrator: OK, every story's gotta have a really big coincidence and here's ours: »
- Narrator: The ape named ape was caged in a cage, hoping to hear the jungle king's awesome...
Narrator: Hey, I'm pretty good at that. And wondering if he would ever come. But the motion-sick mammal needn't have moaned, for that defender of the innocent, protector of the weak, and all around good guy George of the Jungle was closer than he knew.
George: Next time George find bigger box. »
- Narrator: Well, Ursula's fiancé is in prison, and there's a jungle man sleeping on her balcony. She could use a best friend right now.
Betsy: Hi.
Ursula Stanhope: Hi.
Betsy: I got here as fast as I could. Where is he?
Ursula Stanhope: Oh, he's in the waterf... he's in the shower.
Betsy: Not anymore.
Ursula Stanhope: Oh! George.
George: Bad waterfall. First water get hot, then George slip on strange yellow rock.
George: Oh. Hi, George of Jungle.
Betsy: Charmed, I'm sure.
Ursula Stanhope: George, take this big book.
Ursula Stanhope: Cover the booty.
Ursula Stanhope: Let's get you some clothes. Sorry, Betsy.
George: Bye.
Betsy: No problem.
Betsy: Now I can see why they made him king of the jungle. »
- Narrator: Whew! Okay, kids, let's stop and review the important information - Lyle is a big doofus. Poor George was really shot, but can't die because, hey, let's face it, he's the hero. »
- Thor: George of the Jungle must be halfway to 'Frisco by now.
Narrator: But our plotting poachers were only half correct because George was all the way to San Francisco. »
- Thor: I'm chafing, Max. I'm chafing big-time.
Max: Didn't I tell you now to wear twenty pounds of black leather in the jungle? Didn't I tell you? Cotton, I said. Cotton breathes. »
- Thor: There's five stinking apes out there. Which one are we taking to Vegas?
Max: The one who's playing chess! »
- Ursula Stanhope: And this is Neiman Marcus
George: Ooh! They have big shiny cave. »
- Ursula Stanhope: And you can watch TV, and eat, and relax, and I'll be back as soon as I can. Just stay here.
Narrator: Stay here? George is king of the jungle. No four walls built by modern man can contain him
George: Not true. George have every intention of doing exactly what Ursula say.
Narrator: Really? Is that so?
George: For a while. »
- Ursula Stanhope: So I'll tell my dad first thing in the morning.
Betsy: Make that second thing. First thing, I suggest you buy jungle man some clothes.
George: Nice butt flap. »
- Ursula's mother: Arthur, I wish you would do something about all these monkeys. I feel like Jane Goodall.
Ape: Madam, I knew Jane Goodall and you are no Jane Goodall. »
- Ursula's mother: When Lyle comes back from that jail, this wedding will proceed as planned. If you do ANYTHING to upset that, I'll remove your reason for wearing a loincloth. »
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