Vigo the Carpathian. Born 1505, died 1610.
105 years old, he hung in there, didn't he?
He didn't die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, streched, disembowled, drawn and quartered.
Guess he wasn't too popular at the end, huh?
No, not exactly a man of the people. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy.
Wasn't he also Vigo the Butch?
And dig this, there was a prophecy. Just before his head died. His last words were, "Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back."
You know, I have met some dumb blondes in my life, but you take the taco, pal! Only a *Carpathian* would come back to life now and choose New York! Tasty pick, bonehead! If you had brain one in that huge melon on top of your neck, you would be living the sweet life out in Southern California's beautiful San Fernando Valley!
Your Honor, ladies and gentleman of the audience, I don't think it's fair to call my clients frauds. Sure, the blackout was a big problem for everybody. I was trapped in an elevator for two hours and I had to make the whole time. But I don't blame them. Because one time, I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you.
Very good Louis. Short, but pointless.
Before we begin this trial, I want to make one thing very clear: the law does not recognize the existence of ghosts, and I don't believe in them either. So I don't want to hear a lot of malarkey about spooks and goblins and demons. We're going to stick to the facts in this case, leave the ghost stories to the kiddies, understood?
Wow, sounds like a pretty open-minded guy, huh?
You know, I just can't believe things have gotten so bad in this city that there's no way back. I mean, sure, it's messy, it's crowded, it's polluted, and there are people who would just as soon step on your face as look at you. But come on! There's gotta be a few traces of sweet humanity left in this city. We just gotta find a way to mobilize it!