Holden:
I overdosed on hardcore and now I can't get a hard-on!

Holden:
Why do you think they call it masturbate? Cause it allows you to be the master of your own fate!

Holden:
What you need is a date with my two-dimensional friend. Not only does she pull out, she puts out. What do you think Sam? It's the mass of the ass directly proportional to the beauty of the cutie!