Tina Trac:
How did you get to be so cynical?

Brian Kelly:
Practice.

Brian Kelly:
I guess we all do unexpected things sometimes, don't we?

Brian Kelly:
Can I ask you something personal?

Tina Trac:
Sure...

Brian Kelly:
Where's the bathroom?

Brian Kelly:
I don't know what's worse: getting blown up in nuclear war or having a 7-11 on every corner.

Bobby Nguyen:
Don't give me a jerk-off handjob!

Brian Kelly:
Do you know what a farm vet does? He helps cows get well so they can live long enough to be turned into Quarter Pounders. It's ridiculous!

Brian Kelly:
If my dog had a face like yours I'd shave his ass and tell him to walk backwards.