Ron:
Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?

Lucius Malfoy:
Your scar is legend. As of course, is the wizard who gave it to you.

Harry:
Voldemort killed my parents, he was nothing more than a murderer.

Lucius Malfoy:
Hmm, you must be very brave to mention his name... or very foolish.

Ron:
They were starving him, Mum. There were bars on his window.

Mrs. Weasley:
You'd best hope I don't put bars on your window, Ronald Weasley.

Hermione:
Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
AMAZING. This is just like magic.

Ron:
Follow the spiders. Follow the spiders. If Hagrid ever gets out of Azkaban, I'll kill him.

Harry:
Not to be rude or anything, but this isn't a great time for me to have a house elf in my bedroom.

Dumbledore:
It is not our abilities that show what we truly are... it is our choices.

Moaning Myrtle:
Oh, Harry? If you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet.

Harry:
Uh... thanks, Myrtle.

Oliver Wood:
I don't believe it! Where do you think you're going, Flint?

Marcus Flint:
Qudditch practice!

Oliver Wood:
But I booked the pitch for Gryffindor today.

Marcus Flint:
Easy, Wood. I've got a note.

Oliver Wood:
"I, Professor Severus Snape do hereby give the Slytherin team permission to practice today, owing to the need to train their new Seeker." You've got a new seeker? Who?

Harry Potter:
Malfoy?

Draco Malfoy:
Thats right. And that's not all that's new this year.

Ron:
Those are Nimbus Two-Thousand and Ones! How'd you get those?

Marcus Flint:
A gift from Draco's father.

Draco Malfoy:
You see, Weasley, unlike some, my father can afford the best.

Hermione Granger:
At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in. They got in on pure talent.

Draco Malfoy:
No one asked your opinion you filthy little Mudblood!

Ron:
You'll pay for that one Malfoy! Eat slugs!

Colin Creevey:
Can you turn him around Harry?

Harry Potter:
No Colin! Get out of the way!

Neville Longbottom:
Why is it always me?

Uncle Vernon:
And Dudley, you will be?

Dudley Dursley:
I'll be waiting to open the door.

Uncle Vernon:
Excellent. And you?

Harry:
I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I don't exist.

Hagrid:
Better out than in.

Hagrid:
And I'd just like to say that, if it hadn't been for you, Harry, and Ron, and Hermione of course, I would... I'd still be You-Know-Where. So I'd juste like to say: thanks.

Harry:
It's not Hogwarts without you, Hagrid.

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
Funny, the damage a silly little book can do, especially in the hands of a silly little girl.

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
How is it that a baby with no extraordinary magical talent was able to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How did you escape with nothing but a scar, while Lord Voldemort's powers were destroyed?

Harry:
What do you care about Voldemort? Voldemort was after your time!

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
Voldemort is my past, present, and future.

Lucius Malfoy:
Let me see; red hair, vacant expressions, tatty second-hand books, you must be the Weasleys.

Arthur Weasley:
Now, Harry you must know all about Muggles, tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?

Ron:
Say it, I'm doomed.

Harry:
You're doomed.

Draco Malfoy:
Famous Harry Potter... Can't even go into a book shop without making the front page.

Draco Malfoy:
The last time The Chamber of secrets was opened a Mudblood died. So it's only a matter of time before one of them is killed this time. As for me... I hope it's Granger.

Ron:
Dad loves muggles, he thinks they're fascinating.

Hermione:
Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices isn't a good sign.

Moaning Myrtle:
I'm Moaning Myrtle. I wouldn't expect you to know me. Who would ever want to talk about ugly, miserable, moping, Moaning Myrtle? AHHH.

Hermione:
She's a little sensitive.

Harry:
You'd better clear out before my bones grow back, or else I might strangle you.

Dobby:
Dobby is used to death threats, he gets them five times a day at home.

Draco Malfoy:
Training for the ballet, Potter?

Hermione:
Look. Hagrid's our friend, why don't we just go and ask him about it?

Ron:
Oh, that'd be a cheerful visit. "Ello Hagrid! Tell us, have you been setting anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?"

Hagrid:
Mad and hairy? Yer wouldn't be talkin' about me, now would ya?

Ron:

Harry:
No.

Lucius Malfoy:
Let us hope that Mr. Potter will always be around to save the day.

Harry:
Don't worry. I will be.

Draco Malfoy:
Scared, Potter?

Harry:
You wish.

Filch:
Well, I'd take a good look lads. This night might be the last you spend in this castle. Oh dear, we are in trouble.

Hermione:
He called me a Mudblood.

Hagrid:
He did not.

Harry:
Ron, I should tell you, most Muggles aren't exactly accustomed to seeing a flying car.

Harry:
Albus Dumbledore is the greatest sorcerer in the world.

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
Dumbledore has been driven out of this castle by the mere memory of me.

The Sorting Hat:
Bee in your bonnet, Potter?

Harry:
I was just wondering, whether you put me into the right house?

The Sorting Hat:
Yes, you were particularly difficult to place, but I stand on what I said last year: You would have done well in Slytherin.

Harry:
You're wrong.

Harry:
But I haven't received any messages, from any of my friends. Not one, all summer.

Dudley Dursley:
Who'd want to be friends with you?

Ron:
Maybe we could trick them into telling.

Hermione:
Even THEY aren't that thick.

Harry:
There's no Hogwarts without you Hagrid.

Ginny:
Mummy, have you seen my jumper?

Mrs. Weasley:
Yes dear, it was on the cat.

Mrs. Weasley:
Now don't forget to speak very, very clearly.

Harry:
Diagonally.

Mrs. Weasley:
What did he say dear?

Arthur Weasley:
Diagonally.

Mrs. Weasley:
I thought he did.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Harry, Harry, Harry. Can you possibly imagine a better way to serve detention, than by helping me answer my fan mail?

Harry:
Not really.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Fame is a fickle friend Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity does. Remember that.

Professor Snape:
Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox.

Harry:
Your bird, there was nothing I could do. He just caught fire.

Dumbledore:
Oh, and about time too. He's been looking dreadful for days. Pity you had to see him on a burning day.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Books can be misleading.

Harry:
You wrote them.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
My dear boy, do use your common sense. My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think I'D done all those things.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
It's really quite filthy down here.

Hermoine:
Do you think he's all right?

Ron:
Who cares?

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
So this is what Dumbledore sends his great defender. A songbird and an old hat.

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
Let's match the powers of Lord Voldemort, Heir of Salazar Slytherin, against the famous Harry Potter.

Dobby:
Dobby is very sorry, Dobby had to iron his hands...

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all up, in case you ever need to protect yourself, as I myself have done on countless occasions. For full details, see my published works.

Hermione:
Look at my face.

Ron:
Look at your tail.

Professor Snape:
If I might, Headmaster. Perhaps Potter and his friends were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, the circumstances are suspicious. I, for one, don't recall seeing Potter at dinner.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
That was my doing, Severus. You see, Harry was helping me answer my fan mail.

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Allow me to introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher; me. Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. But I don't talk about that; I didn't get rid of the Banden Banshee by smiling at him.

Lucius Malfoy:
What's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard, if they don't even pay you well for it?

Arthur Weasley:
We have a very different idea about what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy.

Lucius Malfoy:
Clearly.

Lucius Malfoy:
Your scar is legend. As of course, is the wizard who gave it to you.

Ron:
Is there anything you CAN do?

Gilderoy Lockhart:
Yes, now that you mention it. I'm rather gifted with Memory Charms. Otherwise, all those wizards would have gone blabbing. I'd have never sold another book.

Tom Marvolo Riddle:
Haven't I told you? Killing Mudbloods doesn't matter to me any more. For many months now, my new target has been you.

Ron:
How thick can you get?

Professor Snape:
You were seen! By no less than seven Muggles! Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world! Not to mention the damage you inflicted on Whomping Willow, that's been on these grounds since before you were born!

Ron:
Honestly, Professor Snape, I think it did more damage to us.

Professor Snape:
Silence! I assure you that were you in Slytherin and your fate rested with me, the both of you would be on the train home TONIGHT!

Ron:
Have you spoken to Hermione?

Harry:
She should be out of hospital in a few days... when she stops coughing up fur balls.

Ginny:
Leave him alone!

Draco Malfoy:
Look, Potter! You've got yourself a girlfriend.

Ron:
Enlighten me. Why are we brewing this potion in broad daylight, in the middle of a girls' lavatory? Don't you think we'll get caught?

Howler (Mrs. Weasley):
RONALD WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR? I AM ABSOUTELY DISGUSTED! YOU'RE FATHER'S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER *TOE* OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME! And Ginny, dear, congratulations on making it into Gryffindor. Your Father and I are so proud.

Lucius Malfoy:
Now, now Draco, play nicely.

Ron:
Let's think. Who do we know that thinks all Muggle-borns are scum.

Hermione:
If your'e talking about Malfoy...?

Ron:
Of course, Malfoy. You heard what he said "You'll be next, Mudblood"!

Oliver Wood:
All right, here's the plan. We play our game, Hufflepuff doesn't stand a chance. We're stronger, quicker and smarter.

Fred Weasley:
Not to mention they're terrified Harry will petrify them if they fly anywhere near him.

Oliver Wood:
That too.

Lucius Malfoy:
And you must be Miss Granger, I presume? Yes, Draco's told me all about you. And your parents... Muggles, aren't they?