Garrett Lawton:
Would the two of you like for me to be alone?

Garrett Lawton:
In no way meaning to be offensive, I have always found steam baths to be... very boring.

Garrett Lawton:
I don't know if you know what this is, but when I take my thumb off this, it will explode that. And if you knew how much work it took for me to create this, then you might know how excited I am at the possibility that I might be able to use it.

Thomas Livingston:
I've developed a system whereby the wrongs won't keep accumulating while I continue to do what I must to maintain my style. I now do a right for every wrong, canceling out my wrongs.

Garrett Lawton:
Of course you do, because I'm a ladykiller!

Max Parrish:
It's not enough to be stronger, faster, and better-looking than the other guys. The guys I'm after are Lex Fucking Luthor. If I'm gonna fight the Joker, I gotta have a Batmobile.

Oleg Krezinsky:
Is intelligent man who recognize opportunity in bad situation.

Max Parrish:
Tell me about it. Took the FBI six months and a brigade to grab you, took me an hour. I'm a fucking genius!

Diane Norwood:
No way I can be in business with a guy who thinks he's Jesus.

Diane Norwood:
Wait a minute! What if I can tell you a way to take all the money for yourself, scot free?

Thomas Livingston:
How dare you! I would NEVER sell out my clients, but talk fast, I'll listen.

Garrett Lawton:
You've been married six times? No wonder you're in pain!

Max Parrish:
What are you gonna do? Shoot me for having been in love before?

Max Parrish:
She shot me.

Diane Norwood:
Come on, I knew you had a vest on.

Max Parrish:
She shot me!

Diane Norwood:
Couldn't risk it. Come on, let's go.

Garrett Lawton:
No!

Max Parrish:
Hurts, huh? I knew you had a vest on too, psycho bitch!

Diane Norwood:
You asshole!

Garrett Lawton:
I hope the two of you never decide to have any children.

Killer doctor:
As you've probably figured out, I'm gonna make a mess out of you. But I think you'd be more willing to give me this information, because frankly, I'm qualified to put most of you back together again.

Max Parrish:
Have you seen Billy Jack? Ah, come on, you've seen it. If you don't get out of my way, I'm gonna take this left foot, and I'm gonna whop you right on the nose. And you know what? There ain't a damn thing you can do about it.

Max Parrish:
I hated that movie!

Max Parrish:
Thank God nobody saw that.

Max Parrish:
God! I'd have two more guns if I wasn't such a nice guy!

Diane Norwood:
So, I guess we're finally even on that saving-your-life thing.

Max Parrish:
No. When you dropped the crate on him, you evened the score, when he tried to shoot you, I saved you again.

Garrett Lawton:
The proctologist will see you now.

Garrett Lawton:
If you're buying.

Max Parrish:
(Admiring a painting in Garrett Lawton's flat) Nice tits.

Max Parrish:
You can't make me believe you're giving me up for... how much is her take?

Thomas Livingston:
20 percent, let's say... 31 million.

Max Parrish:
Dollars?

Thomas Livingston:
Mmm-hmm.

Garrett Lawton:
Hey, so what's 31 million dollars? Max is what's priceless!

Max Parrish:
Can Max get a kiss goodbye?

Garrett Lawton:
I make it a point to know a little bit about everything.