Hotel de Love 
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Stephen: I don't get bananas. They're green for about a week, then they're ripe for about 12 minutes before going brown and mushy forever. Sometimes I can't go out because I'm waiting for my bananas to turn ripe.
Allison: I know what you mean.
Stephen: Do you ever look at people and wonder about their lives?
Rick Dunne: Watching my parents renew their wedding vows is like watching ambulance drivers push the victims back into the wreck.
Melissa: What are you doing? You can't keep up your drive-by "I Love You's."
Melissa: My mother believed in love at first sight with Dad, with her second husband, and her third.
Alison: Your love line is so confused.
Stephen: It's not up-to-date.
Melissa: Why do men lie?
Rick: Uh, that's a hard one. Give me something frivolous to get into it.
Melissa: OK. Why do men touch their dick so much?
Rick: Because it's there.
Stephen: What about love at first sight?
Melissa Morrison: I don't believe in it. Norman and I were friends first. For months we just talked. Discussed ideas, books, politics.
Stephen: THAT is not love! THAT is a book group!
Stephen: Now I can finally marry her.
Stephen: Or maybe not.
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