Kevin:
Let's see what we've got... I don't care how I look,just fit... (noticing the 'GFH' initials on the suit)GFH? (He looks further and he found the brand tag) Groverton Funeral Home? I'm dead... I'm *dead*...

Kevin:
My great-grandfather, General Francois Heinrich Manuever, World War 1 and 2

Kevin:
Gemstones Frozen, Havedash reason. (to 3rd guest) Graduate, Full Honors, Oxford. I guess you know about that.

Kevin:
Yuh, Harvard *Street* (to a Priest) Oh, It's a gospel group I was with, Goliness, Faithful and Honest

Kevin:
(to other guests) Geeks For Hire,a temporary service. You fit it, you're the course. Gas For Humans... Girls From the Hood... G-strings For the Huge... Gotta Feed the Hungry... Girls Feeding Homies

Kevin:
(to a female guest) Good, Fine and Healthy and baby, you're it. *BAM!* You know what I'm saying?

Gary Young:
Jason, how many times have I told you to pick that damn thing up? A lot, I think. Probably several, maybe.

Kevin Franklin:
The entire 1994 baseball season, know what I'm saying? I got Ken Griffey Jr. here, Barry Bonds, Jose Canseco. People spend big money for baseball cards, but if they get hurt, it's even worth more money! Say one of them's going to the car after the game, gets hit - pow! I don't wanna see it happen, but if it does, I'm getting paid!

Mr. Pike:
Slap me five there, brother!

Kevin Franklin:
How about I just slap you?

Joey Gasperini:
WHERE'S THE DOUGH?

Kevin:
If you drive away, I'll stand here pointing!