Larry:
You're lucky. You got Melanie. There are men who'd die for her.

Larry:
Still having trouble satiating, are we?

Larry:
Say four holy Fuck You's and keep drinking.

Larry:
What time is it?

Larry:
Yep.

Victoria:
You're an alcoholic.

Adam:
Alcoholics have class. I'm a fucking drunk.

Debra Salhany:
So is that why you decided to call your first novel How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog?

Debra Salhany:
...but, uh, what if somebody reads this and goes out and kills their neighbor's dog?

Debra Salhany:
So, how did you meet your wife?

Debra Salhany:
So, you employed the casting couch?

Melanie McGowan:
Other houses have M&M's, we stock up with Smarties. It's like living at the duty free-shop at Heathrow.

Adam:
They say women are the sensitive ones, but I've never seen it. They're as cold as party ice.

Victoria:
I don't think that sucking on countless nipples makes one an authority on sensitivity.

Edna:
You look just like my son-in-law.

Edna:
My son-in-law's name is Peter.

Edna:
You just said your name was Edna... Edna's a funny name for a man. Been teased over the years?

Laura Leeton:
If the 405 is your morning route, I hope you don't have a history of showing up late to work, 'cause today you're fired.

Melanie McGowan:
You know, you're going to have to cut that out when the baby comes.

Melanie McGowan:
Maybe you should see a therapist about your anxiety.

Melanie McGowan:
Oh, I don't think you ever have to worry about an over-abundance of happiness, dear.

Debra Salhany:
Thanks for sticking around, Peter.