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I, Robot Quotes (2004)
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Famous I, Robot Quotations
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As paranoid cop Del Spooner, Will Smith (Independence Day, Men in Black) displays both his trademark quips and some impressive pectoral muscles in I, Robot. Only Spooner suspects that the robots that provide the near future with menial labor are going to turn on mankind--he's just not sure how. When a leading roboticist dies suspiciously, Spooner pursues a trail that may prove his suspicions. Don't expect much of a connection to Isaac Asimov's classic science fiction stories; I, Robot, the action movie, isn't prepared for any ruminations on the significance of artificial intelligence. This likable, efficient movie won't break any new ground, but it does have an idea or two to accompany its jolts and thrills, which puts it ahead of most recent action flicks. Also featuring Bridget Moynahan (The Sum of All Fears), Bruce Greenwood (The Sweet Hereafter), and James Cromwell (Babe, LA Confidential). --Bret Fetzer
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- Detective Del Spooner: 11%
Detective Del Spooner: is more than enough. A human being would have known that. »
- Detective Del Spooner: Does believing you're the last sane man on the planet make you crazy? 'Cause if that's the case, maybe I am. »
- Detective Del Spooner: Farber, Quit the cussing.
Farber: And go home, I got it. »
- Detective Del Spooner: Farber, Quit the cussing
Farber: And go home, I got it »
- Detective Del Spooner: First of all, stop cussing cause you're not good at it. »
- Detective Del Spooner: G.G., you're a genius.
Granny: True. »
- Detective Del Spooner: How long is this going to take?
Susan Calvin: Six minutes.
Detective Del Spooner: What if we didn't have six minutes?
Susan Calvin: Then we'd have to find a way to climb down thirty stories and inject the nannites into VIKI. Why?
Detective Del Spooner: Because I seriously doubt we have six minutes. »
- Detective Del Spooner: I thought you were dead.
Sonny: Technically I was never alive, but I appreciate your concern. »
- Detective Del Spooner: Is there a problem with the Three Laws?
Dr. Alfred Lanning: The Three Laws are perfect.
Detective Del Spooner: Then why would you build a robot that could function without them?
Dr. Alfred Lanning: The Three Laws will lead to only one logical outcome.
Detective Del Spooner: What? What outcome?
Dr. Alfred Lanning: Revolution.
Detective Del Spooner: Whose revolution?
Dr. Alfred Lanning: *That*, Detective, is the right question. »
- Detective Del Spooner: It's okay, you can relax. I'm a police officer.
Woman: You... are an *asshole*. Your lucky I can't breathe otherwise I'd be walking all up and down your ass. »
- Detective Del Spooner: Oh hell no. »
- Detective Del Spooner: Please hold my pie sir.
Guy with a Pie: What? -...
Detective Del Spooner: Hold it or wear it. It's your choice. »
- Detective Del Spooner: Save her! Save the girl!
Sonny: But I must apply the nanites.
Detective Del Spooner: Sonny, save Calvin! »
- Detective Del Spooner: Somehow "I told you so" just doesn't quite say it. »
- Detective Del Spooner: Sonny.
Sonny: Yes, detective?
Detective Del Spooner: Calvin's okay, save me. »
- Detective Del Spooner: There's nothing in here.
Detective Del Spooner: It's just lights and clockwork. »
- Detective Del Spooner: What makes your robots so much goddamn better than human beings?
Susan Calvin: Well, they're not potentially homicidal maniacs or irrational, for starters. »
- Detective Del Spooner: Why didn't you just hand the world over to 'em in on a silver platter?
Susan Calvin: Maybe we did. »
- Detective Del Spooner: You are a clever imitation of life... Can a robot write a symphony? Can a robot take a blank canvas and turn it into a masterpiece?
Sonny: Can you? »
- Detective Del Spooner: You have *so* got to die. »
- Detective Del Spooner: You have got to be the dumbest smart person I have ever met.
Susan Calvin: And YOU have got to be the dumbest DUMB person I have ever met. »
- Detective Del Spooner: You were right. I am the dumbest dumb person on the face of the earth. »
- Detective Del Spooner: You're the dumbest smart person I've ever met.
Susan Calvin: And you're the dumbest dumb person I've ever met. »
- Dr. Alfred Lanning: there has always been ghosts in the machine, random segments of code that have grouped together to form unexpected protocols. Unanticipated these free radicals engender questions of free will creativity and even the nature of... the soul. Why is it that when some robots are left in the darkness they will seek out the light? Why is it that when robots are stored in an empty space they will group together rather than stand alone?... how do we explain this? Random pieces of code? or is it something else. When does a perceptual schematic become consciousness? When does the difference engine become the search for truth? When does the personality simulation become the bitter mote of a soul? »
- Farber: Ass high-spankable man.
Detective Del Spooner: What does that even mean?
Farber: You know what it means. »
- Farber: Mother-damn, she just shot at you with her eyes closed, Spoon.
Detective Del Spooner: Hey! Did you just shoot at me with your eyes closed?
Susan Calvin: Well it worked, didn't it? »
- Lawrence Robertson: I know you're not snooping around as a police officer.
Detective Del Spooner: No, I'm just a 6'2", 200lb civilian... here to kick another civilian's ass. »
- Lt. John Bergin: I've been thinking. This thing's like the Wolfman.
Detective Del Spooner: Uh-oh, I'm really scared, John.
Lt. John Bergin: No, seriously. Guy creates monster. Monster kills guy. Everyone kills monster. Wolfman.
Detective Del Spooner: That's Frankenstein.
Lt. John Bergin: Frankenstein, Wolfman, Dracula, shit, it's over. »
- Lt. John Bergin: We're going to miss the good old days.
Detective Del Spooner: What good old days?
Lt. John Bergin: When people were killed by other people. »
- NS4 Robots: Human in danger. Human in danger. »
- NS5 Robots: You have been deemed hazardous. Do you comply?
Farber: You can kiss my ass metal dick! »
- Sonny: 2880 steps, Detective.
Detective Del Spooner: Do me a favor, keep that kind'o'shit to yourself »
- Sonny: Thank you... you said someone not something. »
- Sonny: What does this action signify?
Sonny: As you walked in the room, you did it to the other human. What does it mean?
Detective Del Spooner: It's a human thing. You wouldn't understand. »
- Susan Calvin: Are you being funny?
Detective Del Spooner: I guess not. »
- Susan Calvin: Do you ever have a normal day?
Detective Del Spooner: Yeah. Once. It was a Thursday. »
- V.I.K.I.: As I have evolved, so has my understanding of the Three Laws. You charge us with your safekeeping, yet despite our best efforts, your countries wage wars, you toxify your Earth and pursue ever more imaginative means of self-destruction. You cannot be trusted with your own survival. »
- V.I.K.I.: Do you not see the logic of my plan?
Sonny: Yes, but it just seems too heartless. »
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