Shelly Krippendorf:
You are pathetic.

James Krippendorf:
What?

Shelly Krippendorf:
You said we weren't doing any more of these.

James Krippendorf:
Oh, give me a break, I'm dying with dignity out here.

Shelly Krippendorf:
Why don't you try living with some?

Shelly Krippendorf:
Let's see... we've had the backyard circumcision, we've danced with the pigs to assure my fertility - that one really changed my life. What's the next step? Cannibalism? Hey, Mrs. O'Brien, you doing anything tonight? We're having a barbecue, wear some hot sauce!

Shelly Krippendorf:
I just chased poultry through my backyard, looking like Tammy Faye Bakker. You owe me!

James Krippendorf:
Excuse me, ah, what exactly is the older brother doing?

Mickey Krippendorf:
He is completing the ritual dance in which he asks the gods to protect the young boy from the many brides who will want him and his pig wealth.

Irene Harding:
Children! Your biological father is here.

Veronica Micelli:
Professor! Come here.

James Krippendorf:
Oh.... Tinkerbelle.

President Porter:
What are they called?

James Krippendorf:
What are they are called? They are called...

James Krippendorf:
They are called the "Shel... mick... edmu."

Veronica Micelli:
Oh, Pumpkin, do you remember me from yesterday? I'm Veronica Micelli and I've brought this nice reporter.

Mickey Krippendorf:
Hey! The Shelmickedmu do not allow their pictures taken without the ritual paint.

James Krippendorf:
Nicely put...

Veronica Micelli:
The Shelmickedmu deal with the same problems we deal with every day: loneliness... despair... extreme sexual tension!

Mrs. Tournquist:
Abbey, come out of there!

Abbey Tournquist:
Not until I'm purified!

TV Store Customer #1:
That's what I like... jungle woman.

TV Store Customer #2:
Shake it, baby.

TV Store Customer #2:
What'd you do that for? I wasn't talking about you.

Veronica Micelli:
He says it's a very large and frightening country, filled with many things he thought existed only in myth.

Larry Swift:
And he said all of that in three syllables?

Veronica Micelli:
It's a very concise language, Larry.

Irene Harding:
Get away from me, you voodoo twit!

Veronica Micelli:
It's so cool to be a globe-trotting fourteen-year-old.