Doctor:
All right, let's just start with every test that starts with the letter A, tomorrow we'll do the B's, and then Thursday...

Nurse:
You play golf on Thursday.

Doctor:
Well, this is an emergency.

Leprechaun:
For pulling this trick, I'll chop off your dick!

Leprechaun:
Ahhh... lovely golden palaces completely full of riches. I'll rip 'em off and rob 'em blind, those dirty sons of bitches.

Doctor:
Now listen to me! This may mean the difference between living and dying. Do you have health insurance?

Scott:
Do ya take Green Cross?

Tammy:
Let me go, you son of a bitch!

Leprechaun:
Now that's no way to speak about me mother, bless her green soul.

Lucky:
He's a good luck charm.

Gupta:
Yes, I can see it's working very well.

Scott:
There once was a lady of Totten / Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten. / She cared not for steaks / Or for pastries and cakes / But lived upon penis au gratin.

Waitress:
Metallica. No, wait... White Zombie. I got the album. Enjoy your spuds!

Scott:
What the hell did I just say?

Leprechaun:
There was an old man of Madras / Whose balls were made of fine brass. / So in stormy weather / They both clanged together / And sparks flew out of his arse.

Leprechaun:
Now that was quite a load to have to explode. What a lovely lass, I had to blow up your ass but now I must hit the road!

Scott:
Have you ever blown a rod before?

Tammy:
I beg your pardon?

Scott:
The engine, I meant. See, you got your pistons and your rods... You don't want to know this, right?

Tammy:
No, actually, I don't.

Scott:
Excuse me, where can I cash a check?

Tammy:
Sorry I'm late, Fazio.

Tammy:
You're a magician, not the Pope.

Leprechaun:
I want my gold shilling. Tell me where it is or there will be another killing.

Leprechaun:
Mmm, I like Indian food. So spicy!

Leprechaun:
A little token of my esteem. It is exactly what it seems. Made fresh daily at exactly 9:00. It comes from my shillelagh. You can keep it in a crock. Ha ha.

Scott:
I thought maybe you could sneak me inside the casino to see what it's like.

Tammy:
What, do you think this is like Disneyland or something?