Hog Ellis:
Hold it right there! This here is a hundred mile hour fast ball. One of the best pitches known to man today. If it were to hit you, it would've knocked your head clean off. I can always miss, but I've been playing pretty good today, so you gotta ask yourself one question.

Carlos Liston:
Do I feel lucky?

Hog Ellis:
Well, do you Carlos?

Carlos Liston:
Thou shalt not make fun of Carlos Liston or thou will get their asses whipped.

Doc:
Skip, can I talk to you?

Gus Cantrell:
Sure, whats up Doc?

Harry Doyle:
And here's Cerrano, returning to baseball after taking some time off to search for... whatever the hell it was he lost. Maybe his mind!

Gus Cantrell:
God... if You can hear me, *please*... send me *one* real baseball player. That's all I ask. And if you can't grant me that then... well... you might as well just strike me dead right here and now.

Taka Tanaka:
Family bicker. Customers complain. Everyone blames Taka. Have no... peace of brain.

Harry Doyle:
Oh, I'm so sorry. Here, here's a twenty. Go get yourself another suit.