Bad Santa [2003]

Instantly qualifying as a perennial cult favorite, Bad Santa is as nasty as it wants to be, and there's something to be said for comedy without compromise. The Coen brothers conceived the basic idea and served as executive producers, but it's director Terry Zwigoff (Crumb, Ghost World) who brings his unique affinity for losers and outcasts to the twisted tale of Willie T. Stokes (Billy Bob Thornton), a hard-drinking, chain-smoking, foul-mouthed sexaholic safe-cracker who targets a different department store every holiday season, playing Santa while he cases the joint with his dwarf elf-partner Marcus (Tony Cox). With comedic support from Bernie Mac, Lauren Graham, Cloris Leachman, and John Ritter in his final film, Thornton milks the lowbrow laughs with a slovenly lack of sentiment, warming Bad Santa's pickled heart just enough to please a chubby misfit (Brett Kelly, hilariously deadpan) who may or may not be mentally challenged. As dry as an arid martini and blacker than morning-after coffee, Bad Santa is an instant cure for yuletide schmaltz, and if you think this appropriately R-rated comedy is suitable for kids, your parenting skills are no better than Willie's. --Jeff Shannon

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Marcus:
It won't happen again. I can promise you that. Willie here has low blood sugar. That's all.

Willie:
That's right. I forgot to take my pill.

Bob Chipeska:
It's not just the swearing. Forgive me for prying, but did one of you, um, fornicate...

Willie:
Fornicate?

Bob Chipeska:
Yes. With a heavy-set woman in the big-and-tall dressing room?

Willie:
Look, I've boned alot of fat chicks in my time, sure. But, as far back as I can remember, I've never fornicated anybody.

Bob Chipeska:
Yes... Well, even still, I think it's best for all parties considered if we...

Marcus:
If we what?

Bob Chipeska:
Well, I have somebody else interested in the position.

Willie:
Before you do something stupid you might want to think about this shit.

Bob Chipeska:
What are you talking about?

Willie:
I'm talking about firing a little black midget. A small, colored, African-American small person. That's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about your face all over goddamn USA Today, that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about 150 of these little motherfuckers all over the sidewalk out there. Holding pickett signs and using bullhorns and shit like that. Screaming and hollering your name out. Unfair practices, get me?

Bob Chipeska:
Oh no, this is not a handicapped thing. I have nothing against you people.

Willie:
You people? Did you hear that Marcus? He said 'You People.'

Marcus:
Who the hell is us people?

Bob Chipeska:
No... He said... But... what... No no. Um, I think it's best if we just forget we had this conversation.

Willie:
Good thinking. And don't worry about us. We'll be fine. Let's get the hell out of here Marcus.

Willie:
You're pathetic.

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