Sliding Billy Murray:
And before I became an actor on the showboat, I used to drive a stagecoach.

Miss Tiddlewell:
You did?

Sliding Billy Murray:
Yeah, I drove a stagecoach without any wheels.

Miss Tiddlewell:
What held it up?

Sliding Billy Murray:
Bandits.

Sliding Billy Murray:
Would you believe it - that every morning I brought my pretty teachers an apple.

Miss Tiddlewell:
Oh, teacher's pet!

Sliding Billy Murray:
One of them did.

Sliding Billy Murray:
I want to tell you we're sure glad to be here. We had a rough trip. But we brought along the mail... and a couple of females, too.

Drunk:
Hey, you, come here. Give me another drink before the fight starts.

Bartender:
Say, wait a minute. When is this fight gonna start?

Drunk:
When you find out I can't pay for the drinks!