British soccer star Vinnie Jones stars as--no big stretch--a former soccer star named Danny "Mean Machine" Meehan who gets arrested for drunken assault and sent to prison for three years. Behind bars he finds himself embroiled in web of prison politics, caught between a governor with a gambling problem, a crime boss who lost a lot of money on a game that Meehan lost, and a motley crew of surly prisoners and guards with grudges. It all culminates in a soccer match between a team of guards, led by a hard-nosed warden, and a team of convicts, led by Meehan. Mean Machine is a remake of the Burt Reynolds movie The Longest Yard and the plot is pretty sure-fire; it's hard not to get caught up in the tensions of the big game. Plus, the comical game commentators give the movie a good jolt of humor. --Bret Fetzer
Oh right lads, you wanna be nothing, prisoners... numbers... that's fine But you win out there today and you'll have something to remember forever, talk about it over and over, because up and down the country there are cons that are pig sick of not being here in your shoes... just to have one crack at those bastards next door!
Run your guts out, and you'll have somethin' in 'ere -points towards heart- they can never touch, guards and nutcase governors... NOW... ask yourselves one question... ARE YOU READY? *Team replies light heartedly*... YEAH! ARE WE? *Team replies Whole heartedly*... YEAH! THEN COME ON!