Kermit the Frog:
We will also see a rousing finale from Sam the Eagle. What's it called, Sam?

Sam the Eagle:
It's called "A Salute to All Nations, But Mostly America".

Kermit the Frog:
Sam, are you ready with that finale?

Sam the Eagle:
It's a glorious three-hour finale!

Kermit the Frog:
You got a minute and a half.

Waldorf:
Hey, hey, what's going on?

Sweetums:
Bunny ran away!

Statler:
Well, you know what that makes him...

Statler:

Statler:
Well, what do you think?

Waldorf:
Do we have time to go to the bathroom before the next show?

Statler:
We can't. We're bolted to the seats!

Scooter:
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, if you could just step as far forward and close together as you can.

Rizzo the Rat:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, real close, you see we're doing research on deoderant strength.

Camilla:
Bawk, buck, ba-gawk.

Fozzie Bear:
Hey, you're not a penguin. You're a chicken. I told you chickens to stay on the other side of the road.

Fozzie Bear:
Okay, everyone, why did this chicken cross the road?

Camilla:
Ba-gawk, buck, ba-gawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.

Fozzie Bear:
Oh, that's funny. Hey, everyone, why did the chicken cross the road?

Statler:
Oh, no, it's that bear again.

Waldorf:
Hey, bear, you're not even funny in 3-D!

Fozzie Bear:
Oh, no, not you guys. How'd you get here?

Statler:
We entered a contest.

Waldorf:
Yeah, and we lost.