Danny:
Know this, I would marry you yesterday.

Anna Swan:
Hi, nice to meet you.

Danny:
Last time we met, you were covered in afterbirth.

Eric:
Well, now, there's a line I bet you never heard before.

Karen Swan:
I'm 29. Do you know how old I'm going to be next year?

Danny:
30?

Karen Swan:
Don't mock me.

Jesus:
My name is Jesus. I was named after a band leader in Panama City.

Nina Swan:
I've been scared my whole life, it's only now that I'm in love I'm not scared.

Danny:
You know how when you're listening to music playing from another room? And you're singing along because it's a tune that you really love? When a door closes or a train passes so you can't hear the music anymore, but you sing along anyway... then, no matter how much time passes, when you hear the music again you're still in exact same time with it. That's what it's like.

Nina Swan:
Jesus saved me.

Karen:
Danny, look! This filthy, semi-literate yahoo wants to do me. Dreams do come true! No, sure, I want to, right now, right here on the table. Why not? The way that jelly clings to your chin, it's so sexy, look at you. I mean, that pasty, white gut of yours cascades over your belt like water in a dream, what more could a woman want?

Danny:
Have you met Jesus?

Nina:
He saved my life.

Danny:
I thought you loved me.

Anna:
Really, what made you think that?

Danny:
Probably when you said you loved me.

Jesus:
I saw you looking at me from across the room.

Nina:
I'm blind.

Jesus:
Oh - I knew there was a reason.

Jesus:
My name is Jesus. My uncle is in dry cleaning.

Billy:
He's the retard! Hey, you're the retard!