Stars: Scott Bakula, Hector Elizondo, Robert Loggia, Harley Jane Kozak, Larry Miller
Genre: Comedy, Sport
Rating: PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Runtime: 108 minutes
Now, let's analyze what's been working for us.
NOT A GOD DAMN THING'S been working for us. Like this goddamn suit doesn't work for me... and this stinking tie... and this goddamned shirt. IT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME. YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY WINNING HARD-NOSED FOOTBALL? YOU PLAY FOOTBALL LIKE ED GENERRO PLAYED FOOTBALL. A guy who gave his life for this football team. He was a 140-pound halfback, and HE PLAYED LIKE A GODDAMN WILDMAN! NO! LIKE A GODDAMN RAMPAGING BEAST! And that's the way you got to do it! YOU GO OUT THERE! YOU TEAR THEIR FUCKING HEADS OFF, AND YOU SHIT DOWN THEIR NECKS! Let us pray.
From Champs to chumps. Just six months ago, The Texas State Fighting Armadillos were billed as the greatest college football team in history, and now, they are history. Yesterday, the commision slapped Texas State with a staggering list of infractions including recruiting violations, steroid abuse, illegal payments to players and , of course, grade tampering. To where these guys are going, their yearbook photos will be used as mugshots. Joining us tonight is our guest commentator, the legendary Ed "Straight Arrow" Gennero, the man who once threw five All-Americans off his football team for taking money from boosters, but still won the Cotton Bowl. Thanks for joining us tonight, coach.
Good to be here, Chris.
Coach, what's the latest on the Armadillos?
Well, Chris, the penalty handed down to Texas State will set an example for the future of College Football.
What happened to the players?
All the players from the old team have been expelled and all the coaches have been fired.
Where will they get their new players?
Their new players must be real students. No more scholarships, no more monkey business, no more special favors or else no more football.
He's a coach, I'm a football player. The man can't talk to me like I'm human.
Have you tried?
I tried with you.
Look, you have to understand how hard it is to get resp...
Respect as a female teacher, yeah. You ought to try getting respect as a football player sometime.