Necessary Roughness

Suzanne Carter:
Oh my God, I'm sorry. Are you okay?

Paul Blake:
No, actually. I just got hit in the head by a racquetball.

Coach Gennero:
Well, is it fatal?

Coach Rig:
Not much of a crowd.

Coach Gennero:
Well, at least we have the home field advantage.

Coach Rig:
The Alamo was the home field.

Coach Gennero:
Keep your eyes on the ball, son.

Coach Rig:
I'd rather he kept his hands on the ball.

Featherstone:
Hey Popki, you finally threw something that connected!

Chuck Neiderman:
Holy Columbus Ohio!

Lucy Draper:
Welcome to foot... BALL!

Coach Rig:
How about that, he stinks at two sports.

Coach Gennero:
I can work with him, just butt out of my offense.

Coach Rig:
If you can build an offense around a guy who throws like Edward Scissorhands, we're gonna be playing a hell of a lot of defense.

Coach Rig:
How about that, he stinks at two sports.

Coach Gennero:
I can work with him, just butt out of my offense.

Coach Rig:
If you can build an offense around a guy who throws like Edward Scissorhands, we're going to be playing a hell of alot of defense.

Coach Gennero:
Wally, did you hire an Assistant Coach without telling me?

Coach Rig:
No, I found a Quarterback without telling you.

Coach Gennero:
Well, I hope he gets younger as he gets closer.

Coach Rig:
Get up Wally, people are watching. Not many... but they're watching.

Coach Gennero:
If this wasn't friggin astro-turf, i'd dig a grave for myself.

Coach Rig:
Now, let's analyze what's been working for us.

Coach Rig:
NOT A GOD DAMN THING'S been working for us. Like this goddamn suit doesn't work for me... and this stinking tie... and this goddamned shirt. IT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME. YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY WINNING HARD-NOSED FOOTBALL? YOU PLAY FOOTBALL LIKE ED GENERRO PLAYED FOOTBALL. A guy who gave his life for this football team. He was a 140-pound halfback, and HE PLAYED LIKE A GODDAMN WILDMAN! NO! LIKE A GODDAMN RAMPAGING BEAST! And that's the way you got to do it! YOU GO OUT THERE! YOU TEAR THEIR F***ING HEADS OFF, AND YOU SH*T DOWN THEIR NECKS! Let us pray.

Flat-top:
If I wanted a big brother I wouldn't have killed mine.

Paul Blake:
You alright?

Andre Krimm:
Oh, I'm doing fine; except for the fact somebody hit me with a chair.

Andre Krimm:
The next time I invite you out with the guys keep your white butt at home.

Paul Blake:
But I thought you said you wanted to Paaar-teee?

Coach Gennero:
Hurts when they poke you in the chest like that?

Andre Krimm:
Alright everyone, class over, get out.

Andre Krimm:
Man! It's been a long time since I been able to kick some butt. See ya in class.

Suzanne Carter:
You got in all five W's; what, where, when, why and especially the who.

Convict Football Player:
Gentlemen, this is your home field so please, take the ball.

Convict Football Player:
I don't feel so good. I think I swallowed a finger.

Coach Gennero:
Dean Elias is looking for any reason to bury us.

Suzanne Carter:
What are you doing here?

Paul Blake:
Well, I'm kinda bleeding in your doorway. Can I come in?

Suzanne Carter:
Sure. Didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?

Coach Rig:
Oh I'm sorry Jack, you're a genius; that's why you've got a bigger whistle than me.

Paul Blake:
Manu, snap me the ball.

Coach Rig:
SNAP THE BALL DAMN IT!

Paul Blake:
Manu, Manu hike me the ball.

Lucy Draper:
Relax big guy; you've already got the job.

Coach Gennero:
Wally call me crazy but I've got a funny feeling about tonight's game. Maybe we've got a shot.

Chuck Neiderman:
But in a typhoon it's anybody's game.

Chuck Neiderman:
Edison down at the Jayhawk 27. Although he did hydroplane to the 19.

Chuck Neiderman:
Lucy Draper is the 1st woman football player in Armadillo history.

Coach Gennero:
Listen, no speeches. I'm proud of you. Now let's get out of the typhoon.

Suzanne Carter:
We're consenting adults.

Dean Elias:
So were Bonnie and Clyde

Lucy Draper:
I'm an Armadillo just like the others.

Manumana:
You're an Armadillo, but not like the others.

Lucy Draper:
You're alright Manu.

Paul Blake:
You can't just walk away.

Jarvis Edison:
You did.

Paul Blake:
How did I end up with Jiminy Cricket?

Paul Blake:
The library's got your name on it. It's about time you saw the inside of it.

Suzanne Carter:
Up yours Phil.

Dean Elias:
She called me Phil.

Sargie:
Hey guys, guys! Basic Losing is over.

Coach Rig:
I don't wanna put any undue pressure on you guys, but Coach Gennero's last words were, win or I'll die.

Chuck Neiderman:
He's in the endzone.

Chuck Neiderman:
I'm wating for a flag.

Chuck Neiderman:
There's no flag.

Chuck Neiderman:
There should be.

Paul Blake:
Ah hell, mabye we should think about blocking him tonight.

Chuck Neiderman:
I hope you stay tuned as the Texas State marching band does its salute to gun racks and open beverage containers; which is only legal in Texas.

Coach Rig:
Linemen, you gotta give Blake at least four-god-damn-seconds to throw the ball.

Dean Elias:
Oh! Hello Boys.

Carver Purcell:
By the way, you're fired.

Chuck Neiderman:
That was a clean kick to the face mask.

Chuck Neiderman:
Krimm breaks into the backfield. Fumble, FUMBALAYA, FUMBLERUSKI!

Paul Blake:
You're hurt. You're tired. You're bleeding. I'm gonna make you a promise. We get into that endzone, you're not gonna feel any pain.

Chris Berman:
From Champs to chumps. Just six months ago, The Texas State Fighting Armadillos were billed as the greatest college football team in history, and now, they are history. Yesterday, the commision slapped Texas State with a staggering list of infractions including recruiting violations, steroid abuse, illegal payments to players and , of course, grade tampering. To where these guys are going, their yearbook photos will be used as mugshots. Joining us tonight is our guest commentator, the legendary Ed "Straight Arrow" Gennero, the man who once threw five All-Americans off his football team for taking money from boosters, but still won the Cotton Bowl. Thanks for joining us tonight, coach.

Coach Gennero:
Good to be here, Chris.

Chris Berman:
Coach, what's the latest on the Armadillos?

Coach Gennero:
Well, Chris, the penalty handed down to Texas State will set an example for the future of College Football.

Chris Berman:
What happened to the players?

Coach Gennero:
All the players from the old team have been expelled and all the coaches have been fired.

Chris Berman:
Where will they get their new players?

Coach Gennero:
Their new players must be real students. No more scholarships, no more monkey business, no more special favors or else no more football.

Jarvis Edison:
How many timeouts do we have left?

Paul Blake:
Three.

Jarvis Edison:
Can we take 'em all now?

Paul Blake:
He's a coach, I'm a football player. The man can't talk to me like I'm human.

Suzanne Carter:
Have you tried?

Paul Blake:
I tried with you.

Suzanne Carter:
Look, you have to understand how hard it is to get resp...

Paul Blake:
Respect as a female teacher, yeah. You ought to try getting respect as a football player sometime.